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As soon as I got off the train I saw Maud on the platform with open arms waiting for me and a huge smile on her lips.

She waited until I got to her and finally hugged me.

When she said she would take me out for lunch, what she meant was that she would accompany me on her bicycle to Sultan's. She knows my heart's most secret desires.

From there we went to PH, because we had no time to lose.

The bar by day seems yet another place completely different from what it is at night, frequented by old gentlemen with big moustaches and suspenders. The music at that time is typically Dutch and whenever I come here at this hour I feel transported to another era.

The daylight that comes in through the windows gives the impression that the environment is much lighter than at night. Even on summer days the lounge is dark during the night hours. Don't ask me why.

We have been attending PH since we finished high school. Many of my friends went to college in Utrecht and never left Hilversum, so our tradition was never interrupted.

As the afternoon dragged on, all my friends gradually arrived and at the beginning of the evening everyone was there. It took a long time for me to realize that Yoongi was not there.

He didn't show up the next few nights and I didn't notice anyone commenting on his absence. Maybe they knew something that I didn't know.

"Normale Frienden"
December 31

Roos
Maud, do you need help
with the party today? I'm free to
help you with whatever you need.
14:56

Maud
Babe, I bought a bunch of
frozen food and drinks at the
supermarket and that's it.
14:59

Evi
But it still takes work to heat everything,
what time can we come over to help you?
15:04

Tulip
Yes!
15:04

Maud
If everyone comes here before the set time,
we'd better reschedule the whole thing for
earlier. It'll make no difference.
15:06

Roos
I don't mind hehehehe.
15:07

Maud
So come over
whenever you can.
15:10

Roos
So I'm going to go as soon I'm
done getting ready.
15:12


I threw my phone aside, got out of bed and went to the bathroom. I took a quick shower without getting my hair wet and decided I would spend a few more minutes putting on more makeup than usual. Sometimes that last year was the worst of all because the universe thinks I'm ugly?

What a stupid idea! But even so, I put a lot of care on my face, making a black outline leaving my gray eyes with a kitten aspect. On my lips I applied my favourite lipstick in a plum shade that went well with my new hair shade. A little blush touched my cheeks, leaving a healthy aspect on my freckles. The black mascara complemented the eyelid outline well and highlighted my look even more.

I left my face painting tools on top of the bathroom sink and hoped everything I did would last until the new year while taking the lipstick with me to the bedroom.

Following the same logic I used for my face, I chose to wear a dress, as if I really wanted to start the new year by doing things differently. The dress I chose had long sleeves, it was short and fit on the bust, but with a flowy skirt, despite the heavy winter fabric. As a strategy to don't get too cold in my legs, I chose to wear a thermal legging under the black pantihose.

Just thinking about the clothes and having worked on my face, I already felt exhausted, so when I got to the door I wasted no time and put on my usual sneakers, which ended up leaving all my effort looking cool.

I had forgotten how cold it is to ride a bike in a dress during winter. That must be why I never do that, but today it had a purpose.

I arrived at Maud's and it was already dark, although I didn't take that long. While I was locking my bike inside her yard I heard footsteps and a flirty whistle.

"Looking good, huh, Roos?" I turned around and found Tulip smiling at me next to Timo.

"Let's see if entering the new year like this, the universe understands that I'm working hard and improves things for me." I said, shrugging my shoulders.

"I think he will get the message." Now it was Timo's turn to speak.

We went to the door together and entered without knocking. Some of our friends were already here and Evi told us that Maud was in the shower.

I crossed the house without stopping at the coat rack at the entrance and still wearing my coat. I went out to the back garden where the fire pit structure was already set up.

I patted my pockets for my pack and pulled out a cigarette and brought it straight to my mouth. When I pulled the lighter out of my pocket, I realized that it was actually my lipstick. A few more patting and I found the correct object.

I think what I like most about smoking nowadays is the opportunity I have to be alone and relax. What started as an act of transgression has become an expensive and terrible habit for my health, but I still can't seem to let go of it, especially when it is now a great reason for me to get away from everyone.

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