I Have Loved You Always Dark!Luke

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notes: Dark!Luke, ANGST, and major character death

notes: Dark!Luke, ANGST, and major character death

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When the transports had all reported in, you had been the first to notice he was missing. You had searched everywhere, on every transport, for any sign of the blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy that you had fallen head over heels for, but it was no use, he hadn't made it back to the fleet. Reports from the remaining leaders of the mission didn't offer much hope as they all seemingly came to the conclusion that they had seen Luke die on the battlefield confronting the Sith lord, Darth Vader.

For the next full rotation, you had been an inconsolable wreck as a you grieved the loss of your love, your other half. The bed felt empty that first night and the shadows in the room taunted you for being weak. When you had finally drifted off, nightmares of losing Luke looped as you were forced to watch him die over and over without a single thing you could do. You woke up to the sound of screaming, but it hadn't taken you long to realize it was your own screams echoing off of the walls of your once shared-quarters with Luke. Leia had immediately come to your aid, hearing the screams from her own room just next door. However, she had acted strange, as if something were bothering her, eating away at her conscious. Twice she opened her mouth to speak, but both times, she had only shook her head as she tried to find the words to say. She finally relented and said softly, "Luke is alive." Your heart had skipped a beat at her statement, but the saddened look in the battle-hardened princess's eyes confirmed the worse, he had been captured.

She took you to command after you quickly pulled on your uniform, but the solemn looks on each face and the whispers they shared as you walked by made you uneasy, as if they knew something you didn't. You leaned over to Leia, "Something is not right. You said he's alive, so all we need to do is spring him out of an Imperial detention area, right? So why am I receiving pity glances from everyone in this room?"

Leia never got the chance to respond as one of the generals spoke for her, "____, Luke has been confirmed to be captured on the battlefield and brought back to their base on-planet, but it seems something has occurred..." He trailed off as the holotable came to life, displaying Luke Skywalker, but something wasn't quite right.

"This is a message for the Rebel Alliance. I've come to the conclusion that all this time, we've been fighting on the wrong side of the war. Order, security, and justice are what this galaxy needs. If you truly fight for freedom, then you'll understand that freedom comes at a cost. This is that cost. I leave the choice up to you. Choose wisely." The transmission broke up and vanished. You were left in shock, in horror, of what he had just said. You glanced up to the officers and command personnel that all watched you try to process the news. Suddenly, the pity looks and the whispers began to make sense. Luke wasn't coming back.

You held in the tears forming in your eyes as you let out a long exhale, "He's wrong. I don't know how he could allow himself to think this way, but we can't give into him or we sacrifice all that this rebellion stands for. As much as I hate to say it, we need to take our attention away from Luke and continue with our current operations. I want more than anyone here to bring him back, but until we can determine where his loyalties lie, it's not safe."

Leia placed a hand on your shoulder and gave you a sad smile, "I couldn't have said it better, Commander."

*timeskip for the sake of my last remaining braincell*

Three months had passed since the disappearance of Luke Skywalker. Since then, the sleepless nights had become longer and the longing for your lover had become nearly unbearable. On one particular night, you had laid awake in your bunk in the barracks, no longer able to stand the silence of you and Luke's once shared quarters. You dwelled on the memory of when the two of you had met back on a mission with Red Squadron when the alarms started blaring, warning of an incoming attack from the Empire. Instantly, the lights came on as each freedom fighter quickly jumped out of their bunks, preparing for battle. You hastily pulled on your flight suit, but the intercom rang out before you could sprint off to the hangar, summoning you to the bridge. Without hesitation, you sprinted to the bridge, but right as you were rounding the last corner, you realized you had just walked into a trap. In front of you was a whole squad of stormtroopers with their blasters raised, pointing at you. You started to back away slowly until you bumped into a figure standing right behind you. Cautiously, you turned to see the frame of the man you loved, Luke Skywalker. You instantly wrapped your arms around him tightly, not thinking twice about the situation going on around you. He held you as if he were clinging to his only lifeline. "____, I've missed you."

"Luke, you have no idea how much I've missed y-" You pulled away swiftly, "Wait. How are you-You can't be here! You betrayed the Rebellion, joined the Empire, and left me. How dare you come here, expecting me to just fall into your arms and pretend that nothing has changed?! You abandoned me!"

Luke sighed, "My dearest ____, you don't understand, do you? I am saving you. For years, we've fought, watched our friends and family die. For what? For a rebellion that will never succeed in winning this war? For so called 'freedom' that comes at the price of another's own life? No more. I can't stand by and wait for either of our turns to die for a worthless cause. I joined the Empire to put an end to this petty war. Join me, my love, please. I know you are suffering just as much as I am. I can feel it. I need you by my side just as much as you need me." He moved to gently cup your cheek with his gloved hand. It took all of your resolve not to lean into his tender touch like you would have so easily three months ago.

You took his wrist and removed his hand slowly from your cheek, "I'm sorry, but I can't. Luke, I loved you, but you chose to leave and take half my heart with you. That was your choice." You backed away from him, almost forgetting about the troopers standing at the ready behind you. "I am staying with the Rebellion."

"Is this your choice?" You were taken aback at his question, but he asked it once more, "Is this your choice?"

You nodded, confident in your answer, "Yes."

A single tear rolled down his left cheek, "I'm sorry, ____." You didn't register his meaning until his saber ignited through your stomach. He quickly pulled it out, anger burning in his eyes. However, as you reached out to him one last time, his eyes immediately softened with fear and regret. What had he done?

You fell to the ground, but Luke slid to the floor, holding you in his arms as you took your final breaths, "Luke...re-remember that...remember that I...I have loved you...always-" With that, you fell limp in his arms. Tears streamed freely down his face as he held you close. He had killed you, just like the Emperor had requested, but instead of feeling accomplished he felt tremendous guilt.

Later on, he would realize that your death had been the start of his redemption path, but even as a Jedi Knight, he would always remember the night he killed his light, the love his life. Even now, as the aged Jedi pulled out a holograph of you and him from before that day, he allowed himself to mourn you, "I have loved you always, my love, and I always will."

author's note:

i enjoy writing Dark!Luke far too much for my own good, lol. what can i say other than even a smol bean like him can have a dark side, which i am more than willing to write about :)
May the Force be with you!!
-sarah syndulla

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