-Witters POV-
It had finally happened. You had kissed her. You felt her lips on yours, soft as silk.
The bickering was when you knew it was more then just a hate, she had felt for you. If you knew any better, then you knew when she tried to talk herself out of something, she went full force. As soon as you questioned why you were the first person she thought of, after breaking up with A.J. She got defensive. It was as simple as that, in that instances you knew Joey had feelings for you. She was good at masking her feelings but, you saw right through it. The moment she put on that show and start yelling at you, you knew she was lying to herself. The feelings you felt towards her in the past couple weeks, were quite possibly the same feelings she felt towards you. There was a reason she was trying to hide them though. You knew the reason.
You couldn't let it go that easily though, you couldn't let her talk herself out of what she felt. You let her slip through your fingers once before and you weren't letting it happen again. She gave you this look and before she could even react, before you could even think, you dove in. That look, was irresistible. Letting go of all the feelings and tension, that built up over the past couple weeks, as your lips locked. For a brief moment, you stopped her from talking and she let you. Your lips touched and you felt her tense, worked up body, let go and become limp as she melted into you. You felt her hands grab your arms tighter and her lips move in sync with yours. She wanted this just as bad as you. Nothing went through your mind, other then the fact that this felt right. This felt good. This could have been the one thing in your life that made sense. Being with and kissing Joey Potter.
Her breath got heavy and she was just about to pull in for another kiss, before realizing what she had done. You knew what was next. Joey was a stubborn girl. She was good at disciplining herself and she knew how. You just waited, knowing what her next instinct would be. . . Yelling.
"ARE YOU INSANE?" You could feel the fear, masked behind the anger she showed. Fear of Dawson finding out, fear of falling for the underachiever, fear of not being able to talk herself out of something, for the first time.
"HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?" She pushed you with force.
"How could you take some simple declaration of friendship, as and invitation to just maul me, Pacey?" You just stood there dumbfounded for a moment. Surprised at how good she was at faking it.
"Answer me!" She pushed you once more. You stumbled backwards, "What were you thinking?" She pushed again. "What?!"
"What?! I don't know. God! It- it- it was and impulse." You stuttered still trying to collect your thoughts.
"An impulse?" pushing you again, you began to get adgitated.
"Yes, an impulse. You know, sudden, momentary, and believe me fleeting." You started to collect your thoughts.
" Do you have any idea the monumental implications of this meaningless little impulse?" She paused for a second "the ripple effect that it could create in our small but fragile universe?" She looked angry and you were beginning to wonder if she actually was.
"You're right Potter. Excuse my for thinking a kiss is just a kiss." You said, even though it wasn't 'just a kiss' to you. You started feeling guilty.
"Well, its true. A kiss is not just a kiss, not between you and me and you know why." You became confused at what she was trying to say. Was she owning up to her feelings?
"Dawson, Remember?" And just like that, all your hopes and dreams of being with Joey, shattered. " I mean, he factors into this little... hormonal meltdown." It was always about Dawson with her, she never even took her own feelings into consideration when it came to him.
"Meltdown?!" You muttered.
"Yeah." She confirmed.
"Forgive me if I don't think that this is the worst tragedy in the history of humankind, that Pacey Witter, in a moment of impulsive, compulsive, hormone-induced insanity, would have the nerve to kiss Joey Potter. And you let me do it. You did, you let me do it." You pointed out. She talked as if it was all your fault that this happened, she had the chance to stop it while it was happening, she could've pushed away instantaneously after it started but, instead, she kissed you back. "So, what, now I guess the universe begins to unravel. While excuse me, while I get in the car." You stormed off angrily.
God forbid she do anything to ruin her relationship with Dawson. It couldn't have been her fault because, how could she ruin something she lived her whole life for? You knew that, that kiss 'wasn't just a kiss' because of Dawson, it 'wasn't just a kiss' because she had feelings for you and kissing you, just made them that much more, real and it scared her. Although you were angry and upset with how things went, you still cared about her. As you walked to your car, she walked the opposite way, as if she was going to walk home herself.
"Would you get in the car, Potter!" You yelled trying not to show weakness.
"No!" she yelled back.
You got in the car and drove up to her slowing the car down to her pace. " Would you just get in the car, Potter, Please?"
"No." she replied bluntly.
"Didn't even mean to do it, you know? This is me, Pacey Witter, act First, think later, ok?" You tried to excuse your actions. "-And now that Im thinking about it, I take it all back, ok? So get in the car." You lied, hoping she'd reconsider getting in the car.
"No." she still said.
"Jo, its at least another six miles to your house. Its freezing cold outside and if you don't get in, Im going do this the whole way." You drove beside her, persistent."So, would you get in, please?" You asked once more. She stopped and you stopped with her. She walked up to the car, let out sigh and got in.
She sat with her legs facing away from you and her head against the window, gazing the other way. She was perfect. With wisps of her brown hair falling over her face and her beautiful green eyes focused on the outside world. Regardless of what was said and how crazy she drove you, you knew you loved her. It was too soon to say that though. You two had only just started getting along they way you did, and now you weren't sure if you would ever get back to being close.
The ride was silent and full of tension. You kept thinking about how upset Dawson made you. How Joey was always under some sort of spell with him. She was never herself when she was with him. He dimmed her light and he put her aside. He didn't appreciate her for who she actually was. He appreciated her for what she made herself into for him. This single fact made you furious. You cared about Dawson because he had been your friend since child hood but, when it came Joey, your respect for him dropped. Joey was amazing and deserved to be seen, the way you saw her.... Dawson saw her, but he only saw her as his side kick. It was never about her. He constantly played with her feelings. Wanting to be her boyfriend, but letting go so easily. Sending her mixed signals and never being one-hundred percent certain if she was really meant for him. You were certain. You knew what you wanted and you had complete faith that some how, at some point this could work. You even put your friendship with Dawson on the line because, you had a 'feeling' and you trusted she was the one. Dawson could never do that.
