Destined to you (ziam royal au)

CHAPTER 7

I'm so sorry for the heartbreaks, I frankly didn't expect this much reaction. I hope you guys can forgive me and this update would cheer you up. At least a bit.

This is a long chapter, hope you guys like it.
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I train the students with a sour mood. Ever since I came back, my father has been scolding me for no reason. I told him I didn't like the guy back only that he liked me upon. It's Louis' idea, but my father won't trust me. I couldn't care less about it.

Snow is staying at the castle with Louis. My father had made a face at him but Louis glared at him, deliberately cradling Snow close to his chest. And since my return, my father never let me leave the house to hang out with Louis. He is still ragingly mad that I liked a boy. My mom didn't stand up for me every time he hit me and I didn't try to defend myself.

I announce lunch break to them and settle down on the floor silently. I stare down at my palm, where Zayn's bracelet rests.

Even after I hurt him and rejected him, he still decided to give this to me. I don't know whether to be depressed or honored.

I miss him so much.

So much that I didn't try to put up the 'I don't like a boy' act at all. I didn't want to, to be honest. What good is it going to do? Nothing. And I spent enough time missing Zayn, trying not to cry all the time. I have become so sensitive lately.

Everything around me reminded me of him, even the things I failed to notice before. Every time I saw the sunset, it was like a punch to the gut. And my mother making strawberry cupcakes for my father's birthday didn't really help my situation. Even when I felt my father's eyes on me, I couldn't help but stare at the cupcakes longingly. And I felt my eyes sting with tears, and I never made move to hide them. My mother asked me what's wrong, a clear hidden warning to stop with this, but I just snapped nothing and left the dining table. My parents were too stunned to react. Doesn't mean I didn't pay for it though.

The next day, I found myself in the kitchen, flipping over recipe books. The only thing I like about my mother, is she taught me how to cook. That's the only decent thing she has done to me. She thought it will impress my future wife and I could only snort at that now. My father never liked me cooking, but my mother let me. She is a good cook, I can give her that. She also spent her free time trying new recipes, and would ask me how it turned out. After the whole 'I like a boy' ordeal, it all stopped. And I'm surprised when I don't miss it that much. Not even one percent of missing Zayn.

I try to see things from his perspective for a moment. I really gave too much mixed signals that he must have been confused, and I proved I don't like him by saying no. I try to imagine how it would have felt if he had rejected me, and I couldn't blame him when he refused to talk or even look at me. He must have felt...embarrassed. That thought made me want to smack myself for doing this to him, because what else would he feel? I pushed him away when he was going to kiss me, and he must feel ashamed for stepping into my personnel space without asking how I feel. If only he had looked into my eyes on the day of departure, he would have known the answer.

None of this is his fault, it's all mine. I should have rather pushed him away or embraced him completely. But I messed up instead.

When I found the recipe I was searching for, I set to cook it. I was trying to make samosas. I don't know why, but I just wanted to make them no matter what at the moment. Half way through it, my mother came walking in and was surprised when she found me there. She turned suspicious of the recipe, wondering why I was specifically cooking that, but I didn't care to give her an explanation.

The samosas were only okay, not as tasty as the Zayn shared with me, but this ones I made meant a lot to me. I wished he was sitting right beside me and we both feeding each other. It sounded so ridiculous, but I really wished for it.