Unintentionally Loving it (Bakushima) (Trans Kiri)

It's okay, cry

Katsuki's PoV

My breathe gets caught in my throat, and my mouth runs dry. I can't seriously not be on the stupid board. I turn to my left where Eijiro is, and just stare at him. I grab his hand, and gently tug on it. He turns to me with a smile, but that soon changes when he sees my facial expression. He looks at the board a second time. Mere seconds go by before I'm enveloped in a hug. 

I kind of just stood there in his embrace. This just confirmed that my name wasn't on the board. I felt like crying. No, I wanted to scream. I needed to scream, but I couldn't. I physically couldn't. I tried to but all that came out was a chocked gasp. 

I finally wrapped my arms around my boyfriend waist. His hold on me only tightened in response. I didn't know what else to do. Eventually, he pulled away, and we went back to the coach. The trip back to school was lively. I wanted to fall asleep again like i did on the way there, but i couldn't. 

When we finally got back to the school, we were sent straight to our dorms, as school hours had already passed. Most of the class stayed in common space, but Eijiro, Insomniac, Half-n-half and I all went in the lift. I eyed the two until they got to their floor, and they left. We got off on the floor above, and went into Eijiro's room. 

That is when everything hit me. It was like a wave of emotions overtook me at once. I just collapsed to my knees on the living room floor. My arms hung loosely to my sides, resting on said floor, as I finally let my emotions run wild. 

I cried. 

At this point, that seemed to be an understatement at best. Tears poured out of my eyes like a damn just broke. I tried to wipe them away, but no matter how hard I tried, more just came to replace them. I wanted to stop crying, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. They even leaked out of my closed eyes. 

I gave up. I just let myself cry. I couldn't do anything else. I let them fall down my face and land on my lap, creating a puddle on my costumes trousers. Then I felt it. Warmth. It was subtle at first, only resonating in my fingertips, but it soon spread. My tears came to a slight halt due to this. 

Fingers laced with mine, as another hand wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer. His chest collided with my back, and a head rested on my shoulder. My heart beat raced, and my eyes widened at the touch, which caused some more tears to be released from my rose coloured eyes. They soon came back to their normal size, when a message was wrote in the palm of my hand in kanji. 

'It's ok, cry' 

And so I did. I leant backwards into his embrace, and let go. I let go of everything. Anything that had been troubling me, anything that was causing me pain, and anything that just genuinely confused me. I let it all out in one go, and just sat in my boyfriends arms, crying.

 I couldn't tell you how long we sat there, on the floor, but by the time we got up, the sun had already set. After the episode I had, I didn't have a lot of energy left in me. I just wanted to go to bed and sleep, but Eijiro made sure that I ate first. We only had a pasta packet, but after all that, I don't think even he had the energy to cook. 

Once we had ate, he finally let me go to bed. We got out of our hero suits and into some pj's, and went to sleep. I nuzzled my head in close to his chest, the vibrations of his heart beat lulling me to sleep once more. 

~ X ~

A few weeks has passed since my whole melt down happened. Eijiro hasn't said a thing about it, he just continued on as if it never occurred at all. I wanted to apologize to him about it, but every time I try to bring it up, he changes the topic. I'm starting to think he regrets letting me do that. I'm probably an ugly crier or something.

No Eijiro isn't that type of person, plus does anyone look pretty while crying. I don't think it's possible. He might just be falling out of love with me. Or maybe he's found someone better than me. The very thought makes me want to blow Deku to shreds. 

He would tell me if he thought that way though, right?

I'm overthinking and complicating this. I can just ask him about it. He wouldn't lie to me about it, and even if he did, he's a terrible liar. The only problem is, do I really want to know? If he really does feel that way about me, what will I do? I mean we will have to break up, but I'm not ready for that. I don't want to let go. Not yet. Please lord, let me have just a little more time. 

Denki's PoV 

I couldn't do it. I told myself weeks ago that I would let Hanta tell someone about my home life, but I can't. I'm pathetic, I know, but I can't bring myself to let go. Yea, he might be using me like I'm some prostitute, but he's still my dad. What would even happen to me if I told somebody?

I don't have any other family. Both my parents were only children, and all my grandparents are already gone. I wish mum was here. When she was here, everything was perfect. I had a normal life, like all the other kids, but ever since the accident, I haven't known the first thing about normal. 

I just don't want to loose him too. 

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We're at 50 chapters now, and I'm only just starting to pull it to a close. I'm trying to wrap up all the loose ends, and I have something big planned. I'm sure none of you are going to be happy about it, but it's how I've just decided I want it to go. See ya soon my kittens.