Izuku wakes up to the sound of his mom making breakfast. That itself isn't weird. It's something she's started doing ever since they had that talk. It's an effort on her part to heal their splintered relationship, and Izuku has been doing his part in participating no matter how much he wants solitude.
What is strange is that Izuku doesn't remember going to sleep. He doesn't remember leaving school, or coming home, either. It's all a fuzzy blur, starting at Principal Nezu announcing that he would be fighting All Might with Bakugo. He vaguely remembers assuring Hitoshi that he would be fine, then All Might calling him over to a bus. Something something apology, then something something 'Midoriya and Bakugo have passed!'.
He feels numb again. Like all of his emotions have been stifled by a feeling he can only describe as grey.
As he sits up in bed, his hair falls down into his eyes. Izuku isn't in the mood for eye contact with anyone today, so he doesn't bother to reach for one of his barrettes. Instead he notes that his bangs are getting a bit too long again and picks up his phone. The bright notifications blind him for a split second.
142 messages from class karma
Mark as read Reply Mute
209 messages from insomnia gang (tm)
Mark as read Reply Mute
3 messages from ✧♡ Uraraka Ochako ♡✧
Mark as read Reply Mute
1 message from get mind fucked
Mark as read Reply Mute
Izuku hits 'mark as read' for both of the group chats, then mutes them for good measure. He wants to avoid what emotions Hitoshi's one message could cause—lest it's something that actually makes him feel better—so he clicks on Uraraka's.
✧♡ Uraraka Ochako ♡✧: hi midoriya-kun!
✧♡ Uraraka Ochako ♡✧: most of the class is planning to go to the mall today to pick up camping stuff for the training camp coming up!
✧♡ Uraraka Ochako ♡✧: i figured you might not wanna read the group chat, so i came to tell you myself! if you wanna come, we're meeting around 11!
Izuku deletes the conversation.
He has nothing against Uraraka. It's just the very thought of interacting with the hero class makes him more exhausted than he already is.
Izuku huffs and turns on his side, squinting unhappily at his screen. The remaining notification from Hitoshi flashes from a 1 to a 2. Izuku makes a face and clicks on the abandoned server that he and Tomura created to avoid the new message. He spends a few minutes reading back old conversations from before the USJ and Sports Festival, when all conversation had stopped.
"Izuku!" Inko calls from the kitchen, breaking Izuku out of his musings. "Breakfast is ready!"
"Coming!" He calls back with much less energy. Getting out of bed is a daunting task that he only accomplishes because the food smells pretty good. He manages to change shirts, which is something he should honestly be rewarded for, before shuffling out of his room to the kitchen.
Inko is placing down the last of the plates when he gets there. She quirks an eyebrow at his zombie-like appearance but doesn't ask questions since Izuku gives her a small good morning smile. He sits down with her, placing his phone to the side to pick up his chopsticks.
"Thank you for the meal." He and Inko chorus. Izuku eats slowly, so Inko finishes before him, and gets up to put her dishes in the sink.
"I'm going to bed after this. Do you have any plans today?" She asks conversationally, glancing at him. He hums back, faking thoughtfulness, and finally opens Hitoshi's messages.
(yesterday) get mind fucked: you okay?
(today) get mind fucked: goin to the mall. wanna come?
There are a lot of things Izuku could do in this moment. He could tell his mom and his best friend the truth; he could say that he feels like shit, but numbed, so he's going to fall back onto his old coping mechanisms of fighting people. He's sure that Inko would stay up to help distract him from that self destructive instinct—that Hitoshi would offer to come over with Meimei and have a chill day.
He's sure that they would help him if he asked for it.
satan but green: nah. gonna spend time with mom. have fun
"I'm going to the mall with Hitoshi and the rest of the class." Izuku lies. Inko's face brightens and Izuku almost feels bad for it.
"Tell Hitoshi I said hi, okay?" She asks. "He's so sweet. I'm glad you two are friends."
"Yeah. Me too." Izuku softly agrees. Inko gives him a knowing look and puts the rest of her dishes in the sink.
"Well, I'm off to sleep. Have a good day, sweetheart." She walks over and kisses the top of his head before returning to her room. Izuku stays seated long after her door is shut, slowly working through his food until he's sure that she's dead asleep. Then he puts away his dishes and leaves the apartment.
The nice weather is wasted on Izuku as he strolls through back streets and alleys with his hood up and his bangs down. He keeps an eye out for any signs of a fight as he goes. A few people nod their hellos as he passes them, used to seeing him prowling around.
Izuku wanders for a while without any real destination in mind. He's not really paying attention to where he's heading, lost in a buzz of static non-thought. When a familiar sounding shout knocks him out of his own head, he finds himself at a standstill across the street from the mall.
Izuku scans the crowds coming out of the building and makes eye contact with Hitoshi. His friend is lazily watching the crowds as Tsuyu and Uraraka chatter away next to him. Hitoshi's gaze moves away, and then it snaps back to Izuku, a spark of recognition in his eye.
Rather than being called out for his lie, Izuku takes a step back, intending to retreat into the alley. Instead he hits a wall of flesh—someone's chest. A heavy hand falls on his shoulder, all fingers but the pinky touching.
Izuku tilts his head back to meet Tomura's eyes.
"Hey Izuku," Tomura rasps with a grin, "wanna hang out?"
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apathy
FanfictionINCOMPLETE. dont ask me for updates. ap·a·thy /ˈapəTHē/ noun lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern By the time that Bakugo puts his hand on Izuku's shoulder and tells him to jump off the roof, Izuku is already shattered beyond repair. Or, the one...
