Secrets of Attraction

Twenty-Four: JOOHYUK

"Hyuk, you have to calm down, we've got this thing," Jisoo said.

"I'm trying," I said.

Being stuck in a vestibule along with the other bands and various equipment was about as fun as being naked in a cage with a rabid honey badger. Although, truth to be told, a honey badger would have probably smelled better. Not everyone, it seemed, cared about hygiene, and the small space made that painfully evident. My nerves were live wires; I could barely stand still in the two feet of space we had surrounding us. At least the door had windows so I could see into the gym.

There were two stages, so as one band played, the other could set up their equipment. Thankfully, Astro didn't share our staging area; they waited in the hallway on the other side of the gym. Sharing a cramped space with Eunwoo or Hyoseop would have made me even edgier. I'd seen them, nodded in a sort of "Good luck, may be the best band win" kind of way, but they had just sort of stared, trying to psych us out. Out of the six bands, we were set to go on third. Smack-dab in the middle. Not the most enviable spot, but it was the luck of draw. Astro was the closing band. Subin thought it was fixed.

I paced back and forth, occasionally peeking out into the gym, which did nothing to calm my nerves. The Battle always drew a decent crowd, and the space was already starting to fill in. I kept looking for one face, though, and ten minutes until the battle was supposed to start, Suzy was nowhere to be seen. Her absence wasn't the reason I was nervous. She said she'd be there and I believed her.

The real reason it felt like my blood was replaced with pure adrenaline was that I was about to throw the competition and I had no idea how I was going to break it to Subin and Jisoo.

After the weirdness with Suzy in my car, I'd gone home and finished the song. Her song. I couldn't handle playing it for her one on one, I'd be too self-conscious - but being on a stage where I could get lost in the energy of the crowd would somehow make it easier. I didn't plan on singling her out, I knew how she felt about grand gestures, but she would know it was for her.

Jisoo would be easier to persuade. This was all new to him, and while I knew he wanted to win, he wouldn't think twice about me doing the song. He'd said as much at practice.

Subin was a different story. It was now or never. I grabbed his arm.

"Dude, I have to talk to you," I said.

"Shoot," he said.

"Not here."

His upper lip curled. "Where we gonna go?"

I looked around. He had a point. I turned my back to the small area, forming our own corner, and motioned for them to come closer.

"Okay, I'm starting to feel like a douche, Hyuk, are we going to join hands and do a power chant or something?

"This is from a guy wearing the hat," Jisoo said.

"Lucky hat."

"The song is done. It's good. I want to play it for Suzy."

That was as plain as I could make it.

Subin breathed out hard, staring up at the ceiling before answering. "I thought we talked about this. Just save it for May."

"I just ..."

"Want to impress a girl. Did you know about this?" He turned to Jisoo. Jisoo shook his head.

"No, this is sort of a game-time call. Look, I can't explain it, I just think she needs to hear this. We're already better than Astro - we know that, does it really-"

"How could you spring this on us now? Why is it more important than us trying our best to win this thing?"

"Because it just is."