Burn to ash

Chapter 14

It happens for the first time during the third show of the tour.

Louis still isn't comfortable with Harry. He thinks it'll take a lot more than a few stilted conversations to make that happen, though if it's going to, it makes the most sense for it happen while they're on tour. Touring seems to break down the walls of most normal people, and the five of them never had great personal boundaries to begin with.

So it happens on the third night. The first night had been good, the second fairly tolerable. But it's on the third night that they really hit their stride, and Louis refuses to even contemplate the possibility that The Incident, as he refers to it in his mind, with about a billion exclamation points after it, is the cause for why they fucking smash it.

But they do.

It starts like this.

They're on stage. The opening chords of They Don't Know About Us are rippling out of the speakers and Louis glances over to his right, and at that particular moment, he doesn't really think about why he does it. It's only later that he realizes he knew Harry was supposed to be standing there. And of course, Harry is shyly glancing over to his left, towards Louis, though that isn't so much of a surprise, because according to Niall, Harry low key stares at him all the time. Louis has considered telling Harry that it's kind of weird for him to do that and he's not comfortable with it, but he hasn't decided yet if that's entirely true or not, so he's stayed quiet.

But fuck, he knew Harry was going to be standing to his right, was going to be staring, and he looks over anyway. Later, he can't help but wonder if that was the exact fucking reason he does it. Once he looks over, glance shy and more than a little coy, he sees Harry staring right back, nearly the exact same expression on his face.

Every other time before when Louis has caught him actually fucking staring, Harry's looked away, blush high on his cheekbones, ashamed at being discovered. But there's zero shame on his face now, his blood hot from the show, and he pretty much unapologetically stares right back at Louis, love and lust and want and need mingling in his eyes.

Louis feels all those things too. He just isn't comfortable with them. He isn't sure yet that he should be feeling them or even expressing them. But they're on stage right now. There's thousands of people in front of them and somehow, some way, it's okay. It's okay to stare right back, so Louis does.

Maybe it's the crowd as a buffer or what, because he not only stares, but then he realizes his legs moving and it turns out he's sauntering right over to Harry, who can't even hide his surprise to see Louis approaching, all laidback movements and a come hither gaze.

So it kind of happens that Louis ends up singing nearly all of his verse of They Don't Know About Us right to Harry. Not to the audience. Not to the other boys. But to Harry, who the song was always meant for, always reminded him of, which was probably why it was always expressly forbidden.

Harry sings the song right back, confusion melting right into something downright giddy. Fuck it, Louis thinks as they belt the chorus, practically sharing the same air, he's going to do the kind of things they never got to before, so he actually grabs Harry's hand and tucks his own much smaller fingers into Harry's much larger ones.

The stage lights are hot and they're damp with sweat, their palms sliding together, but Louis knows this is one of the best moments of the last five years, hands down. It's exhilarating and terrifying but it's also fucking freeing too.

Camera flashes are going off like crazy, and there's definitely an uptick in the screaming and clapping at the end of the song. It isn't until Louis glances over to Liam, who is literally staring at their clasped hands with his jaw dropped that Louis realizes just how much he's overstepped. He's been so careful since Harry came back to limit their physical contact-that one really ill-advised kiss withstanding-but now he's inviting it and he's inviting it in literally the most public arena he can find.