Awful Situation - Dream SMP War

[12]

It had been 5 days since I'd been shot. i have spent these days doing the same routine over and over, by that I mean laying in the same spot only moving to eat when George brought me food 3 times a day.

What can I say, I am still in pain and my mind is in shambles. I just don't want to hate my friends. But st the same time I want to get my revenge for the pain I'm going through. Too add to all of this, I haven't spoken in days. Not since I thanked George for bringing me pancakes. Since then I really have just been trapped in my own thoughts.

I lay in my bed, in the same pajamas I put on when I showered, which I haven't done since. I am disgusting but I can't pull myself out of my bed to fix it. Thank god George was caring for me. I am able to take care of myself, yeah it hurts but it's  the fact that my emotions want to hate me. 

George has dealt with me when I got like this before, not leaving my room and generally being an absolute mess. Of course this time was so much different. He has stuff to do. He doesn't understand how bad it is for me this time. I'm sure he understands what I'm feeling just not how bad. 

George came into the room with a sandwich and some water for me. He sat at the end of the bed as usual while I ate. He asked the same question as every other day, "Are you feeling better?" I nodded. I was getting better my body just still hurt like hell. We sat in silence as I ate. When I finished George grabbed the plate and left the water. He was about to leave when I stopped him.

"Wait. Don't go." I need to talk to him. He put the plate on my bedside table and sat back down. 

"Yeah?" He asked. 

I took a deep breath and then said, "Thank you for taking care of me. I know I'm being annoying probably and you have things to do. Yet you are still here for me." 

He smiled, "Of course I'm here. I'm your brother. There is no getting rid of me." We both let out a little chuckle.

"It's just that you have had to deal with me being like this before, and it must suck because I haven't talked to you and I am just laying around while you work and-" I rambled on.

George cut me off, "And I don't care if you never talk and if I've cared for you before. Taking care of you is all that matters to me. I know you are in pain and you feel sad and angry. And you should. But just know that I will be here for you until you are ready."

His words almost brought tears to my eyes. "George, mom she said we shouldn't waste our life. Not like her. Yet here I am 17 years old and already one third gone." Mom had one wish for us before she died, live long and do as much as we could. How could I do that if I keep wasting everything like this. 

I fell apart over mom once and here I am doing it again. "I know you feel like you are wasting yourself, but no one saw that coming. And you have two left. And I will move mountains before I let you go another time." George grabbed my hand. 

I squeezed his hand tightly and let a few tears roll down my cheek. I'm safe. I'm fine. 

"You are the best you know that?" I told him.