Torn Between

Summer Break

* June 25th, 1993

I was in Bessy's new car that her parents just bought her, and we were off to the beach. Which has become a new routine now. School's only been out for almost a month and we've gone way too many times. I think I deserved it after my hellish year of school. I haven't heard from any of the guys actually, and those last few weeks of school were horribly strained and tense when I'd see James. The rest of the guys would say hi to me and tell me they missed me, and in reality I missed them too. They were like best friends now and I loved being around all of them.

Once we got to the beach, the congested beach may I add, we found a tiny spot perfect for us near the water. We laid out our things and basked in the sun. It was as if the UV melted all my memories of school and I felt content again. I was on the verge of falling asleep when Bessy whispered my name and hit my arm. I woke up groggily.

"What?" I huffed. She nodded her head over to the left. I look over and it's..all of them.

"Come on!" I exclaimed as I held my hands on my head, "Do they see us?"

"No, I don't think- sh*t! Sh*t!" she started panicking.

"What?! What?!" I frantically questioned.

"Get down Stell, Joey noticed me," she didn't dare to look over at me and lowered her sunhat.

"Is he coming over here!?" I asked, but it was too late.

"Stella!" Joey shouted while holding out his arms.

"Joey...." I said in all awkwardness, slowly getting up from my seat. We released from the hug and I sat back down.

"And Bessy!" Joey proposed the same gesture and she was even less willing to hug him, but she did.

"Haven't seen much of you in a while Stell, how you been?"

"I've been good, just spending my summer with this one. Are the rest of the guys with you?" I asked, acting as if I didn't see them before. And just as he was going to answer, a familiar voice entered our circle.

"Well if it isn't Miss Marino?"

"Vulcano?" I said with a smirk, and felt those old butterflies swarm my stomach hearing him say my name. I forgot how handsome he was. His olive skin glistening and water drops falling off of him, darkening his curly jet black hair. Something was different about him this time around, and I was weak for him. I got up and hugged him. Feeling his bare skin almost felt illegal. And suddenly I forgot how to walk back to my towel. He didn't even acknowledge Bessy as he sat down on my towel and his hand fell on my thigh. His hand startled me and I looked down at it, then him, and he was grinning knowing exactly what he was doing. I anxiously smirked back and left his hand, unsure of what to even do. We talked for about 3 minutes just catching up when one more boy made an appearance.

"Is that Stella?!" he said crouching down and pretending to use binoculars.

"Wait, is that- it can't be! Brian Quinn!?" we both laughed and exchanged hugs. Meanwhile Joey was trying to flirt with Bessy but all of us laughed at his attempts.

We were all talking and I took a quick look over to see James sitting over where they left him, his head snapped back to look at anything other than my direction. I guess Sal caught me looking.

"He didn't wanna come over. He thinks you hate him."

"I'm surprised he even came and he's not busy with anything," I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, it was probably best he didn't come over and suffer the wrath of Stella Marino," Joey teased.

"I missed you guys a lot you know? You all make me laugh so much, and I always have so much fun with you three."

"Didn't even include Murray!" Brian roared in laughter.

"Well we stopped having fun when he would cancel all of our plans. I don't hate him or anything. I'd be willing to make amends, I just have a hard time getting over how it seemed like he made it my fault."

"He was actually pretty sad for a couple weeks after you left him. Murray has a hard time expressing how he feels and he wasn't used to having a girlfriend like you."

"Like me?" I questioned raising an eyebrow, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"He saw you as a serious girlfriend. We'd never seen him talk like that about a girl before. I know it seems like he didn't care, but he did. He's just horrible with talking and time management. He's canceled so many times on all of us, it's just how he is. Not trying to make you feel guilty, just letting you know that he's not as big of an ass as you think he is," I was taken back by his words.

"I know he isn't, I just didn't think he was in a place to have a girlfriend, and since it seemed like he didn't care, there was no repairing it on either side. I love the guy, I just feel...I don't know, replaceable. I'm over him now but our friendship was a lot of fun."

"Well, maybe someday in the future you guys can work all that out, but in the meantime maybe you can experiment with other things?" Sal questioned, smiling as he lightly squeezed my thigh. I timidly laughed.

"Yeah, maybe," I said staring into his sun drenched eyes.

For about another 30 minutes we continued our aimless conversations. It felt really refreshing talking to all of them again. I could just say nothing and watch them all talk and joke around with each other, honestly. But sadly it was time to leave and go back home. I just wanted to blurt out 'please don't go', because I really had no idea when the next time I saw them would be.

On the ride back home I was completely silent and dazed out the window with my head resting in my hand, and all that was on my mind was Sal, all of them too because I was sad to leave them, but specifically Sal.

"Thinking about Sal aren't you?" Bessy blurted, breaking the silence.

"Ugh...how'd you know?" I moaned, rolling my neck to face her.

"Did you not feel the tension between you two? This guy wants you Stell and I know you do too," my cheeks went hot.

"You think he likes me?" I questioned with a growing smile.

"You're really asking me? Are you playing dumb?"

"I mean, I know he likes me I just wanna hear it from someone else," I laughed.

"OH MY- Stella, you are a piece of work. Yes Sal Vulcano likes you, a lot. It's obvious as hell," I squealed and my body filled to the brim with tingles.