Reminiscing

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Ten years Julia suffered.

Ten years since Julia had left A.C.M.E., ten years since she had returned to her teaching, ten years since Carmen had stopped contact.

One last letter, then silence.

Thank you for all your help Jules. Really, I mean it. I couldn't have done this without you. Try to move on from me and live a normal life.

                                                                                     Carmen

Julia's head spun when she read that letter. Could she be serious?

Julia waited for Carmen in vain for months after V.I.L.E. had been terminated, even though she knew deep down that Carmen wouldn't come back. True to her word, Carmen never arrived and ceased all contact after that letter. Why would she bother reaching out? She had her whole life ahead of her now, why would she choose to spend it with Julia?

Julia didn't trust her heart anymore. One smirk in her direction and her heart belonged to Carmen forever. She thought the bond that they shared could turn into something more over time.

Selfishly, of course.

It was because of people like her that Julia had trust issues. Deep down she knew she still loved Carmen even when it wasn't returned. Some days she would catch herself reminiscing, reliving those few precious memories with Carmen.

Milan.

Monaco.

The video calls.

She would only admit it to herself during those lonely sleepless nights, when her defenses were weakened and the memories flooded over her in waves. Carmen's glowing smile, the way she looked at her team with gentle loving eyes when she thought no one was watching. The video calls during which Carmen almost seemed like she was flirting but held herself back just enough to leave Julia second guessing.

Carmen clearly knew the effect she had on people, namely Julia.

Julia could never find it in herself to push the memories away completely. But as she woke the next morning, she scoffed at her inner thoughts. She wasn't lonely. She had a good job, eager students, friendly coworkers. No, Julia always convinced herself, she had no right to be discontent with her life. And she went on with her day as normal, burying her true feelings beneath work and false cheerfulness. Deep down she knew she was lonely in spite of it all.

Those occasional sleepless nights, longing for Carmen, turned into a recurring theme over the years. Her sleep patterns became irregular and the once placid and poised woman was reduced to using pills just to get to sleep every night.

Julia couldn't help loving her, even if she didn't come back.

Ten years after V.I.L.E., things finally began to look up for Julia. She reencountered her first love and after waiting a third of her life, forgave and married the thief that had stolen her heart so many years ago.

Now Julia woke every morning to the woman she loved. Strong tanned arms wrapped about her waist, curly auburn hair now lightly streaked with grey tickling her nostrils. The cinnamon scent that always seemed to follow her around, once mysterious and alluring, now reminiscent of lazy morning kisses and content walks arm in arm in the crisp autumn air.

Ten years Julia suffered. Carmen said the ten years apart were ten years wasted. Julia always smiled gently at her but said nothing. She didn't agree. Looking back at those years, years of longing, of pain, of loneliness, she wouldn't take it back now.

She glanced over at her wife sitting opposite her on their front steps and smiled gently. Some things in life were worth everything that led to the reward. The deteriorating mental health, the years of pain, the intense loneliness and yearning. Julia couldn't see it then, but there was a reason for her suffering. It was a lesson. No, Julia concluded, she would never take it back. 

Carulia OneshotsWhere stories live. Discover now