Finally Free -- JATP Luke x MaleOC

Chapter 46

Jay wasn't sure how much time he had spent in that hazy state where his own body seemed to collapse in on itself. The next thing he could clearly remember was sitting on the couch, leaning his body against the arm with his legs brought up and folded next to him. In his hands was his song journal, something that he was absentmindedly reading for no reason. He was the only one in the garage at the moment; Julie had to go eat dinner and the ghosts had poofed off to...somewhere.

And so Jay was left alone, reading through his old lyrics that would never be heard by anyone else but him.

"Staring at the ceiling fan, following the blades
I see people passing by, my feet are stuck in place
If you asked my friends they would tell you I'm fine"

Jay had a ghost of a smile on his face as he read the words he had written so long ago, not noticing Luke walk through the closed doors of the garage until the brunette had spoken up.

"Hey," Luke called out, bringing Jay's attention to him. "Are you feelin' alright now?"

"Yeah," Jay nodded, straightening himself against the couch. "Yeah, just needed a breather."

"Cool," Luke said, nodding to himself. "Yeah, that's good."

There was a tense silence that quickly filled the room. Neither Jay nor Luke knew exactly what they should say to the other and the silence just seemed to suffocate them more and more.

"So," Luke finally spoke up after what seemed like the longest silence Jay had ever heard. "What're you reading?"

"Oh, uh," Jay stuttered, not expecting the blunt question. Although considering it was Luke Patterson, he should have expected the bluntness. "Just a couple of my old songs."

"Oh," Luke smiled, bouncing on his feet. "I thought you said they weren't yours anymore."

"Yeah, well," Jay began, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. "I think I've poured too much of myself into this journal to let anyone else read it."

"Not even your Uncle Reggie?"

Jay snickered at the tone of Luke's voice.

"Not even Reggie."

"Not even me?"

"I think you've gotten your fair share of this."

"Actually I-I haven't seen much of it," Luke scratched the back of his head as he spoke, something Jay noticed as his own eyes widened from Luke's statement.

"So how much of it have you seen?" Jay asked.

"'Achilles Come Down,'" Luke shrugged. "That's it."

Jay was at a loss for words. One of the reasons that he tried to avoid coming by the studio was because he thought that the band had all seen his songs. He tried to convince himself that he didn't care whether they looked at his songs or not, but the truth was that he was scared they would think differently about him once they had seen what went on in his mind.

Yet they had all treated him the mostly the same. Despite having read 'Achilles Come Down,' they all treated him the same and wanted him back.

So would it really be that bad if they saw a little more?

"Can-Can I see?" Luke asked carefully, breaking Jay from his brief trance.

"Uh..."

Luke had seen 'Achilles Come Down,' the song closest to Jay's heart. The song that he wanted to keep guarded away from the rest of the world, the song that he had poured the darkest parts of him into. He had edited the song, added his own parts that combatted the darkness that came from Jay. Would it really be that bad if Luke saw a little more?