Never Yours ✔️

Ch. 21

 She woke up to the sun streaming in through her curtains.

She felt foggy at first, and it took her a minute to feel the weight of the arm slung over her waist or the heat of the body behind her, but when she did she sucked in a sharp breath and scrambled out of bed. She stumbled on her first step, dizzy from rising too fast, but she righted herself quickly and spun around, staring in horror at Serden, lying under her blankets, his black hair strewn over her pillows.

Her breath was picking up. She clutched at her chest, inhaling and exhaling rapidly. She found herself on her knees before she'd realized she'd fallen, choking on air and struggling to breathe.

"Arysa?" His groggy voice broke the silence and she started crying. Hot tears fell down her cheeks and she scrambled to check her body, running her hands up and down her nightgown. Nothing seemed disturbed. She didn't feel anything wrong. But there was a sick pit in her stomach that she couldn't get rid of.

"Arysa!" He was in front of her now, kneeling before her. He grabbed onto her shoulders and she reeled backwards, but he clutched tight. He pulled her into his body and wrapped his arms tight around her, holding her close. She hyperventilated, gasping for air and getting too much and too little all at the same time.

"Shh," He cooed, rocking her back and forth. She sobbed and fought and gasped, but nothing made a difference.

"It's okay." His voice was grating. "You're okay. Shh. Just breathe. Breathe."

And she did. Her breaths began to slow. Somehow the pressure from his body curled tight around hers helped. As much as it suffocated her, it somehow calmed her too. Her tears stopped falling and she stopped struggling, sinking into his arms out of pure exhaustion. She took deep breaths in and deep breaths out. Her hands trembled.

"There you go." He murmured.

He pressed his lips to the top of her head and she flinched, her breath hitching again. He pulled away quickly and she inhaled a shaky breath.

"Let go of me, please." Her voice trembled.

He slowly unwound his arms from around her and she pulled away from him, shifting so her back pressed against the side of the bed. She brought her knees to her chest and lowered her head onto them, wrapping her arms around herself.

"You're safe with me, Arysa." Serden stared at the floor. His voice was quiet.

"Am I?" She breathed. "You've hurt me before. How do I know you won't hurt me again? How do I know you haven't already hurt me?"

"I didn't." He turned to meet her eyes, but she wouldn't look at him. "I promise you, Arysa. I didn't do anything. If that's what you're worried about, I swear on both our lives, I would never hurt you like that."

She intertwined her fingers. Tears welled up in her eyes.

"You can't do that to me." She whispered. "You can't force me into situations like that. I can't be vulnerable like that, helpless like that. Please, please, don't ever do that again."

His brows turned downwards. He nodded. "Okay. I'm sorry. I just wanted you to sleep. And I was selfish. I didn't want to leave you."

"You can't do that." She repeated. "You can't do that."

"I won't." He reached towards her, but her eyes snapped towards him, warningly. He hesitated. "Arysa, please."

"No." She hissed. "No. You invaded my space all night. You don't get to touch me now."

His arm dropped to his side. He stood.

"I'll have breakfast sent to your room." He said.

"Don't bother." Arysa turned to stare at the floor. "I won't eat it."