Tommyinnit Exile AU ||5 stages of Belonging

Shock

A/N: burd here ;] First chapter yay! Kinda short but if this does well I'll make the chapters longer. This is more of a way to be creatively motivated than anything else and it does take a lot of work but hopefully I'll keep it up! Comments and votes make my day so please do interact if you think it's any good. Anyway enjoy!
Art Credit: herbivorobert
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It's funny how easily your life can be ripped from your grip in a matter of seconds. How you can suddenly find yourself far away, alone, scared but unable to do anything because what are you supposed to do... Cry?

Tommy wasn't exactly surprised when it happened, he wasn't naive to the lies and manipulation of Dream, and yet the 'removal' of his citizenship, it burned. He remembered standing on that wall, his eyes clouded, knees weak, masking his emotions with what little strength he had left, the emotions that forever left him in that state, that left him in trouble. Tubbo had done that to him, he had pushed him into a corner just as many had done before, his friend had put him in the same situation as his own brothers had, as Dream had.

He found himself pondering over it all in his head, summer nights with his best frie- ex best friend, looking over their home. The place Tommy sacrificed everything for, the place of safety and independence from all tyranny outside those walls. It was safe for Tommy and his supposed 'friend' Tubbo, safe to wish on the few scraps of happiness he had left, safe to forget all his problems. It was safe from Dream.

Was.

All that was left of that country was forgotten morals, broken friendships and a shell forever scarred by lies and deception. It was almost easy to imagine why Wilbur wanted to destroy it all, but Tommy wasn't going to think like that. No, he made a promise on that, he would never act as Wilbur did, it hurt him more than anyone could imagine. He couldn't do that, for he knew very well who it would hurt the most.

It would have been funny if it weren't so sad. The cold reality where no one could ever seem to care for the child as much as he cared for them. The reality where history did always repeat itself, where Tommy was well aware of the pain and suffering he would face and yet he always trudged on. Where he had to carry on. He never got any reward for it, there was no 'the ends justify the means' because half the time he didn't know what he was fighting for; he was simply fighting to survive. At one point it was for freedom, for liberty and justice but that died with Wilbur, just as most good things had. Tommy just wanted to be praised, he wanted to be loved, at the end of the day he was but a child who needed comfort. But he was a broken child, a child who would never be quite right, solely for the things he knew, for the things he had seen. He could never be good enough.

It was pathetic. Then again, he was pathetic. His whole situation was pathetic! Tommy does one thing wrong, one little mishap, and suddenly his best friend says he's 'selfish' and exiles him. Well maybe he deserved to be selfish. Maybe for once in his life, he should be able to chase what he wants. Right?

Stumbling down from the obsidian walls Tommy wasn't so sure. He heard the protests of the president's advisors but knew very well it would make no difference. From the cries of his former colleagues above all was the shout of
"Schlatt!", that was when Tommy knew he wasn't coming back, not any time soon anyway. Tubbo was acting like Jschlatt, he was acting like a dictator, a two-faced, lying dictator. There was no democracy to this situation, the president, Tommy's own best friend just completely changed his mind because Dream 'trusted him', but really, Tubbo was scared.

The gaunt boy gasped as his mind caught up with him, he was being exiled, he was really leaving. Muffled cries were drowned out by Tommy's frantic breath, his heartbeat drummed in his ears as a wave of panic crashed down upon him. He could hear nothing, only the ruthless wind and whipping sands around him passed through his fleeting mind. His thoughts were so loud, he suffocated silently while scenes flashed through his blurred vision-
'Down with the revolution boys, it was never meant to be!' 'Do I shoot him Wil, or do I aim for the sky?' 'We have NO MERCY!' Tommy stepped back, staring, terrified into the oblivion, 'he KNOWS we've lost' 'A new plot, to destroy Manburg'.

Tommy was lost in thought, he was sinking, drowning, dying inside of his head. Words closed in on him, he was backed into a corner, surrounded with no way out, terrified and screaming for help. 'STOP! Stop leaving me!'- echoing around his head were old times, good and bad, Tommy was so confused, he wanted to be back in reality, he wanted to get out of his head. He tried to breathe, he tried to calm himself down like he had always done but nothing worked. It wasn't the same, he wasn't in danger, he was just confused, he felt betrayed, he was wounded in a way that wouldn't heal. He was alone.

"Tommy?"- the boy flinched as a hand came towards him, Dream's hand. He breathed in and out, slowly regaining his bearings,
"Yeah?" He croaked out, barely raising his voice above a whisper.
"We're leaving."