Merlin's Choice (Stand Tall 2)

Part Eighteen: Return

"What ever you have done can be fixed, my dear girl, you're safe now," the old man consoled the Dane. Braith sat down hard on the bench beside the table, feeling reality sink in for the first time in a long while.

"Oh, Gaius..." she said, numb with horror. "I killed a man, who never meant me any real harm. I tried to kill two of the knights, and nearly assassinated Arthur - what ever this is, it is not safe. I can't trust myself, no one can-" the girl realized, putting a shaking hand over her mouth as a sob clenched from her lungs. A tear came free and streamed down her face. The physician put a comforting arm around her shoulders, but she screwed up her face in an effort not to cry, a gasp escaping when she took away her hands. "And Merlin - oh! What will he think of me? I know I kissed Mordred in the forest, but I don't remember w-why. I'm a cheat-"

"Mandrake," cut in a voice from the doorway behind her. The Viking whirled around to see Merlin standing there, holding up an unfamiliar and revolting object. Braith felt her stomach flail about in her midsection like a wet eel when she looked at the thing. What had taken her mind. The root was the color of pale flesh, but was drenched in a thick, blackish-red liquid that dripped onto the stone floor. It looked somehow like a child, spindly appendages flung out in a desperate attempt to find salvation. The Queen of Dane felt a deep sense of disgust, but also an odd sort of pity for the inanimate root. Merlin tossed it into the fire, and as soon as the Mandrake came in contact with the flames, a shriek like some angry demon battered the magicians' eardrums, the witch and warlock doubled over, hands covering their ears. Finally, after a brutal couple of seconds, the shrieking subsided, and Braith felt a sense of pressure lift from her shoulders. She hadn't even realized it was there, but suddenly, her mind was clearer, and things that had been foggy were now sharp, and things that had seemed logical were now traitorous to her sense of belonging. She recalled every detail of kissing Mordred, but at the same time she didn't feel like that had been her. Like someone else had been filling her body with their will, the way water fills up a sinking ship. "Someone hung this under your bed to make you a puppet to your. You were not yourself," Merlin explained, his voice husky from the stress of the past day.

Braith bit her lip to keep from crying out when she saw the look in his eyes. Her actions, however much they were against her will, had wounded him deeply. With a single misplaced kiss, she had broken his heart, ripped it in two, and left it behind without looking back. Regret and anger filled her body. "You don't have to forgive me," the young Queen spoke, her voice dropping lower than normal with sentiment. She exhaled shakily, muttering "God knows I won't forgive myself," under her breath.

"I want to," Merlin spoke softly, opening his arms in an invitation to come closer. The girl stood, and he pulled her into an embrace. Gaius took this as his cue to leave. Braith couldn't stop - she sobbed into the warlock's scarf, laying her head on his chest. He just held her in his arms without a word, barely swaying left to right.

"I'm sorry - I'm so, so sorry," she whimpered between gasps, her words muffled by the fabric. The young man gave no response. After a while the girl's sobs subsided, and she rested, catching her breath and getting her bearings. Her face was sticky with tears as Merlin took her head in his hands. His deep blue eyes were kind now, full of hurt, yet still... forgiveness too. He closed them slowly and leaned in close. His lovely full lips caressed hers, as if trying to kiss away the void that Morgana's plot had rent between them. Braith was still for a moment, shocked by his gesture. Did he not even question her loyalty? She was certainly questioning it herself, and being welcomed so easily back into his open arms made her feel guilty. Once upon a time, she had asked herself if this was true love. It was the only real love she'd ever known, and against her will it was just beginning to slip away...

She kissed him back ferociously, never wanting him to leave her side. The Dane had to show him that he was still the only one in her heart. Her destiny. And it would always, always be that way.