The Transitive Property of Curses and the Like

Come About the Job

"FOOLISH CHILD. YOU HAVE ENETERED THE DOMAIN OF MERASMUS THE MAGICIAN, HERE ON ALL HALLOW'S EVE, THE HEIGHT OF MY POWER, AND- wait actually how did you get in here?"

"Sign said 'Apply at Castle'," the girl shrugged. "Well, it wasn't so much a sign as a tombstone out near the front gate. Other tombstone said 'help wanted'. Sir."

The wizard gazed down from where he towered over the youth. His hat, with its own pair of wobbling eyes, gazed down too. "Right, the help wanted tombstone. That is out there. Hm. That is understandable HOWEVER! YE HAVE INTERRUPTED MY DINNER! AND I WAS MAKING A NICE ROUX AND YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T TAKE YOUR EYE OFF THE BURNER FOR ONE SECOND IF YOU'RE BOILING MILK."

The girl tilted her head. "Are you going to curse me now?"

"N- no? I merely saying that COOKING IS A DELICATE ARTFORM AND I AM MIFFED TO HAVE BEEN DISTURBED."

"I heard that some witches will turn you into a boy if you get on their bad side."

"...That is a very specific curse to bring up."

The girl shrugged.

"ANYWAY," Merasmus the Magician said. "If you are here for the job, then follow me into these hallowed halls, a labyrinth that contains HORRORS YOU CANNOT EVEN IMAGINE! Do not actually set anything on the shoe rack though, I just put that together and the glue is still setting."

The girl did as she was bid, trailing the magician further into his liar, listening as he talked about how forbidden his tomes were, how ancient his (admittedly very dusty) library was, how some people overused garlic when really only half a clove was necessary, things like that. For the most part, she failed to pay attention, and when she was finally handed a broom it was to her surprise. She watched the wizard stalk out of the room, and began to sweep.

She did a pretty good job too. Although, after a few hours of knocking cobwebs off of old busts and dodging spiders that definitely had more than eight legs, she was getting pretty annoyed with the big bomb book in the corner constantly pestering her.

Reeeaddd meee....

Whap. The broom came down hard on a spider, leaving a sticky green mess. One down, forty-two to go.

Psst. Psst hey kid. Reeaad meeeeeeeeee...

"I know I shouldn't be rude to the to ancient cursed things," she finally told the Bombinomicon, "but could you please keep it down? I need to earn this nickel or my Mum will have my hide."

Just a quick peek won't hurt...

She sauntered closer. "The wizard said not to..."

Oh well if the wizard said not to-

"And between you and me," she added quickly before the book could go off on another aggressively sarcastic rhapsody. "You can keep a secret, aye?"

The girl got the impression this book loved secrets, if only so it could blab latter. It squinted its eyes in delight, lowering them conspiratorially and then moved the bomb inside its circular mouth up and down—the closest it could approximate to a nod.

"I'm looking to get another sort of curse already, if you catch my meaning." She put her hand to the side of her mouth, whispering as she leaned close to the cursed tome.

Uhhh....

"Great, thanks for understanding," she said as she leaned back, taking her broom with her.

With that, she went back to sweeping. It was another quarter hour before the bomb book spoke again.

Well if you're not going to read me, how about something else for 'ole Bombinomicon? You like doing things for money, right?