bits of star-dust blown from the hand of God

Part 2

On the third day of what he can now finally assume is a standoff between him and Crowley for some impertinence on his end (it must be, it couldn't be anything else! If only he knew just what he'd done wrong...), Aziraphale entered the shop with the full intention of giving the snake a piece of his mind, calling out loudly as he entered through his apartment door.

"Crowley, my friend, I must apologise as I do not understand why you are ignoring me as of late. I wish to know what exactly-"

However, his words stopped seeing the back of a long red-haired woman, frozen in what seemed to be almost fear, holding one of his many books on the Crusades (nasty period, that) next to a pile of others.

Stuttering a little, he called out. "I'm sorry, my dear, but this bookshop doesn't open until 9:30. How on Earth did you get in here?"

"Well, I've...actually been in here for a while."

Her voice was trembling, gentle, yet strong and vaguely familiar. "I just...wanted to stretch my legs and I thought it was earlier than...now, I guess."

"Well, one can hardly berate you for wanting such a thing, but that still doesn't explain how you got here." Aziraphale tutted nervously. "I know I locked the bookshop last night-"

"-and left the key under the stack of books on top of the door, because you had no more room one day and decided to use the frame as a shelf for your more dangerous novels."

"I-yes, how did you know that?" Aziraphale blinked and he could have sworn- "Crowley?"

The tension from the women's shoulders melted, just the tiniest bit, enough for Aziraphale to notice and then, start to chuckle. "Oh, Crowley, my dear, I thought you would never come out of that wretched serpent form of yours. Here I had been wondering if you were just going to stay that way for kingdom come!"

"Why in the bloody hell would I do that?" The demon in question finally turned around and Aziraphale noticed one of a great many things.

Firstly, Crowley as a woman was jarring, given his normal vessel, was much more abrasive to the human eye, but...inherently divine.

He (well she for the moment) was a beautiful creature, with long curly red locks to mid-waist, some gathered behind her head and tied with a green ribbon. She had a gentle face, soft-looking brows, slender cheekbones and worried yellow eyes (where were her glasses?) that watched him as he took in her form, dressed in nothing but- wait, worried eyes?

"Crowley, dear, what on Earth is the matter?" Aziraphale swiftly moved to be in front of the now, taking the woman by the arm and flinching as she pulled away. "Why have you changed your form? Did you think I wouldn't like it? I say, I find it darling really, but why all this-"

His words stopped, jamming themselves like sand in an hourglass as he took in one final detail he had failed to notice during the entire conversation. An impossibility if you will.

This woman, whom he presumed to be Crowley as of a few minutes ago and was currently standing in front of, was heavily pregnant. Very heavily pregnant.