Dirty Dom

10. Becca

I wake up to the sound of Jax squealing into the monitor. My hands fly to my eyes to rub the tiredness away. They're so sore. It hasn't been that long since I've cried myself to sleep. Divorce and death will do that to even the strongest women. So I'm not ashamed of that.

But I am filled with shame.

I roll over onto my back and stretch my sore body. My pussy hurts from last night. Evidence of what happened. I let it happen. I wanted it to happen. My throat closes, and my chest feels hollow. I can't cry over this. I don't even want to believe it happened. I wish I could just forget him.

What's even worse though is how sad I was when I heard him leave last night. It fucking hurt listening to him sneaking out and hearing the door close. I held Jax longer than I needed to. Long after he'd fallen asleep in my arms, I just couldn't let him go.

As if on cue, he screams, "Mommy!" and my room fills with the sound of his little voice. The hint of a smile graces my lips, and I climb out of bed. Time to get ready. I way overslept. But it's Tuesday, so at least there's no weekend rush. I can get him ready and off to preschool before heading in to the restaurant. Sarah will pick him up, and I'll make spaghetti. Jax's favorite. I shake my hands of this numbing anxiety racing through my body.

It's over. I ended it. My heart pains as it twists into an unforgiving knot in my chest. It shouldn't hurt this much to do the right thing.

Why does it hurt so much? I'm so tired of being in pain.

* * *

I hate the start of the week. There's always so much shit that needs to be done. I need to make sure everything is correct with inventory first. I've got to order everything by two to make sure I'll have it all by lunchtime on Friday. I breathe in deep. I have my checklist on the laptop. I'm supposed to interview managers and another assistant manager today. But I don't have the time.

I know I should make the time because it would really lighten my load to have the extra help, but there's just so much to do. And I really try so damn hard to be home every day by five, six at the latest, so I can be there for Jax. Of course, I almost always have to go back to work using my laptop as soon as he's asleep. But as long as I'm there for him when he's done with preschool and at soccer practice, that's what matters.

I can't miss this time with him. They don't stay kids forever.

I park my car in my spot. The same spot I've parked in every fucking day for the past four years, and a heavy sigh leaves me. I really wish I could take a break. I wish I didn't have to run myself ragged every damn day. I could sell out. I could take the money and try to invest it so it would last for us. But fucking Rick got us into so much debt digging his way out of financial ruin. And then I was saddled with all the lawyer's fees from our divorce. And then of course when he died I had to pay his lawyers that tried to take Jax away from me. That bill fucking hurt like hell to pay. I take the key from the ignition. I can't stop now. Just one day at a time will get me through. And at least I still have my little man. I'll be strong for him.

Grabbing my laptop bag and my purse, I swing both over my shoulder and get out of the car. I click the button for the alarm and turn toward the restaurant.

A scream tears through my throat as a large hand concealed in a black leather glove covers my mouth and a large body wraps around my frame. No! I scream and flail my arms. No! This can't be happening. For a moment, I think it may be Dom. But this isn't him. I know it's not him. Tears sting my eyes as my throat burns with a shrill scream. I stumble forward as the man pushes his chest into me and crushes his heavy weight against my body, pinning me to the rough brick. My head bashes against it, and it scrapes my cheek.