Dirty Dom

19. Dom

I can't fucking sleep. She ripped my fucking heart out. How the fuck am I supposed to react to that? I'm trying real fucking hard not to take offense to that. That's where she draws the line? I can fuck her all I want. Talk about using her pussy as payment, and fucking make love to her in my bed. But I can't read her kid a bedtime story?

She had no fucking underwear on. My cum was probably leaking down her thigh. But she'd rather that?

She fucking safe worded me. I've only been safe worded a handful of times when I first started playing. I know limits. I know what women want. I'm good at reading their body language. But I can't read her, my doll. Just thinking of my pet name for her has my heart clenching in agony.

I'm a fucking fool for thinking she's mine. She's not meant to be with a man like me, and it's obvious she wants it to stay that way.

I thought she felt it. How could she not? I gave her everything. I feel raw and broken. And now she's lying next to me right where I fucked her, on her side with her back to me, pretending to sleep. I know she's awake. Her breathing isn't even close to steady.

I'm not gonna do this. I'm not going to put up with this shit.

She wants to act like that, it's on her. But my heart is fucking open, and I'm not going to let her pretend I didn't just make love to her. That I didn't just see right into her fucking soul as she came on my dick. It was fucking beautiful. I'm not going to let her disrespect that.

"Why are you pretending to sleep, doll?" I ask, doing my best to keep the contempt out of my voice.

"I'm not pretending." Her voice comes out confident, and then lowers. "Just trying to sleep."

"You don't want me to hold you after tonight?" That fucking hurts, too. I should be all over her. Making sure she's alright. I know better than to let her be on her own. But fuck, I'm hurting after that shit.

"It's alright if you don't want to." Her voice breaks at the end. My brows raise in surprise.

"Babe?" I lean over and turn her so her back is on the bed. Her cheeks are tearstained. Fuck! "Doll, what's wrong?" I pull her into my embrace, and she fucking loses it. "Have you been crying this whole time?"

"No." She shakes her head into my chest and barely gets the word out.

"Let it out, babe." I gently rub her back and feel like a fucking prick. I've been lying here pissed because she doesn't want me around her son, yet she's been crying right next to me and I didn't even know. "Tell me what's wrong." I speak gently, but firmly. I know she's gonna try to find a way around telling me what's bothering her. My heart twists in agony; she didn't want me to know she was crying.

"I know this is going fast babe, but you gotta try to trust me."

A sob leaves her as she shakes her head. "It's alright babe, just let it all out."

"I can't." She pushes away from me with tears in her red-rimmed eyes. Her plush lips are turned down, and I still think she looks so damn beautiful. I don't know how I ever looked at her before as just a piece of ass. But something's different now.

"You can, babe. Just let it out."

She shakes her head and her chest heaves with a sob, her shoulders bowing inward. "I can't with you." She sucks in a strangled breath. "This," she says, motioning between us, "I can't." Her voice chokes on the last word. And it may as well have choked me.

My chest hollows and I let out a heavy breath, wrapping my arm around her shoulders and letting her cry into my chest. I don't think I've ever felt pain like this. I don't fucking like it.