enchanted [toni shalifoe, the wilds]

day two - night

Ava stumbled around in the darkness. She had no idea where she was, everything had kind of merged together after it got dark and now she was just wandering aimlessly around what she hoped was the forest. It'd be pretty damn embarrassing if she was stumbling along the beach and someone like Rachel or Dot caught her. 

It wasn't like she was unfamiliar with darkness though. Shit started spinning as she began to think about the last time she was in a situation like this. 

-

"Oh come on, it'll be funny, Ava! We're all doing it... you have to!" Her girlfriend crowed loudly over the nobody-band that was thumping out music on the nearby stage. 

Everyone was staring at her now - well, as much as they could stare in the extreme state of intoxication they were in. Her girlfriend's friends were sloshed, draped all over each other on the old sofa. They were in a garage, maybe? Ava's head was spinning, as if one of the men from that nobody-band was using her brain as a record. She couldn't really remember what had even happened to end up at this point.

"No, guys, I think I'm just going to go home." Ava pleaded, trying to turn to locate the exit in the dimly lit room. 

"Hey, you can't go home without my keys." She taunted, dangling the keys high in the air from her position on the sofa. All of her friends cheered and shrilled, some reaching at the keys in a sick attempt to taunt Ava either further or even hide them from her.

Ava tried to slink away, staggering slightly over the cans of alcohol littered on the floor. A few jeered, as her girlfriend confident stood up and strode over to Ava. 

"Come on," She whispered, putting her hand on her hips and rubbing up and down as if it was supposed to be comforting. "Take it and I'll play your song tomorrow."

Ava hesitated, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear and looking around nervously, as there was a Guardian angel standing in the wings, ready to take Ava away, anywhere from here. "You never credit me though-" Ava began to say, before Ava shoved a finger to her lips.

"I promise... to credit you. Right at the end, right guys!" She slurred seductively, somehow managing to hold Ava's gaze for a minute before turning to one of her friends and revealing a pill in her hand. Ava still doesn't know what it is to this day.

"Come on, for me. You'd do anything for me." Her girlfriend continued, coaxing Ava to take the drug out her hand before passing her a can of cider. 

Ava didn't even stop to question the pill in her hand, or question anything really. She believed everything that her girlfriend had just said, she really fucking believed that tomorrow night when her girlfriend would finish her set with her band that she'd do some kind of speech thanking her. She just thought that her girlfriend had a lot going on, you know, she was swept up into the grime band scene and she was busy sometimes. She just thought that their relationship had to take a backseat so that she could continue to pursue her dream. She just thought that was how love worked.

-

"Fuck." Ava exclaimed, touching her forehead roughly at where a single raindrop fell. Dot was right, it really was going to chuck it down. Her head went into survival mode, or rather, Ava's version of survival mode. She darted from shape to shape in the dark, hoping to make out a tree with overhanging branches and leaves for shelter.

Bingo. Ava spotted towards a huge tree with what she imagined to be large, luscious leaves on it. Those leaves would hopefully keep her warm - they had to, her options were quickly narrowing. She sprinted towards them, completely oblivious to what might be lurking on the ground. And before she knew it, she was falling all over again.

"Ava?" A familiar voice yelled over the rain spitting down. Even though everything was foggy for Ava, and her head felt like she'd just gone on a bender, she would recognise that voice anywhere, over anything. Even after just two days. 

Before she could reply, hot hands were all over her. Toni's rough and dry hands gently picked her up at her stomach as Toni pulled her up and swiftly carried her towards the tree that she'd set out to run for. 

"What... what the hell are you doing here?" Ava shrieked, suddenly aware that Toni's hands were wrapped around her torso and her legs. The shock of the fall was starting to leave her body, and Ava knew how to ignore a headache, believe her.

"I left camp, and I guess I ended up here, trying to help you. Not that you're fucking grateful or anything." She shot back, immediately letting go of Ava and leaning against the tree. 

Ava paused for a moment, hoping that Toni didn't mean the last bit. Ava didn't know what she would have done if she hadn't shown up, her body was starting to shut down because of her arm which she still refused to talk about - and she wasn't a doctor.

"Why'd you leave Martha? You treat her like she's your wife." Ava shouted, struggling to hear herself over the storm. 

"Don't say that. God, you act like if I show any fucking loyalty, I have ulterior motives." Toni raged, turning to face where she thought Ava was in the darkness. 

"Oh come on, everyone has ulterior motives, d-don't act like you're so above it." Ava retaliated, the cold starting to freeze her fingers and make her teeth chatter. 

"Ava, I really don't want to argue with you again." Toni warned after a moment of silence, clenching her fists and closing her eyes in a desperate attempt to control her anger from totally lashing out at her. 

"I don't really think there's any other a-alternatives, do you?"

"Maybe you could grow the fuck up and let me help you."

"H-how the hell would you help me. We're on a desert island, with basically no food or water. Do you know what that fucking means, Toni?" A flash of lightning lit up Ava's face, and now Toni saw that the girl was shivering on the floor, way lower down than she'd anticipated. She crying her eyes out, and slightly rocking herself as if she would do anything to comfort herself without help from anybody else. It was a shock to the system, as Toni hadn't seen this flash of emotion since Jeanette died. "I'm all on my own. I don't have anybody! I never have fucking anybody."

The lightning faded, and the two girls were both in darkness again. In silence. Ava didn't even attempt to wipe the tears from her eyes, because she knew that Toni had already seen everything. She was vulnerable, once again. Something that she promised, she fucking swore to herself that she would never do. It was over, just like the rain. 

"I know." Toni spoke, feeling the last droplets of rain run over her face, as if cleansing it after Ava's outburst. Toni couldn't fight the urge anymore, she thought that the other girl was finally starting to open up to her, which blossomed so many questions in her head. She pushed them aside and shakily sat down next to her and wrapped her arm around her. Toni closed her eyes, fully expecting Ava to struggle against her. 

Toni's touch made her jump slightly, in surprise more than anything. She'd been kind of craving that touch from someone, she just didn't really expect it from Toni. She hadn't really been touched at all by anyone, romantic or not, in a while. It just reminded her too much of her.

So she didn't struggle, and she lay against Toni's arm in defeat. She didn't herself collapse in Toni's chest, because she just knew that Toni would hurt her in the end anyway. They all did. It wasn't worth getting attached. She was just so tired.

Ava's wet hair soaked into Toni's borrowed jumper, but Toni honestly didn't even care anymore, she was just so exhausted of fighting with Ava, and dealing with shit from Martha. And if she was quiet enough, she heard the shaky rise and fall of Ava's chest. It unlocked that part of Toni's heart that she'd missed so much. The feeling of caring for someone, like, really caring for someone. She smiled in the darkness.

And the two girls sat there for hours, and watched the rest of the world wake up from a distance. They both could have stayed there forever. Toni certainly knew she would if it gave Ava any comfort at all.