Scars Along the Way

Green Apples and Shattered Plates

Trigger Warning: cutting/self-harm

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July 20th, 1995

It was a Thursday, in the early weeks of summer after Eva had finished the seventh grade.

Every summer, Eva and Jack spent their time enjoying the warm sun and the smell of fresh-cut grass in the air as they rode their bikes around the neighborhood and chased down the ice cream truck when they heard the cheerful tune in the distance. Some days were lazy days, simply sitting together in front of the TV watching their favorite fantasy films until they fell asleep.

Outside of the misery their families put them through, they were carefree and happy during the summer. It was easier for Jack to manage things at home with his dad when he wasn't in school, and for Eva, her father only made her go with him to his "church" gatherings about every other week, to the disappointment of the leader and his followers, who saw her father as an uncommitted member for not being devoted enough to leave their normal lives behind. Eva was very grateful that her dad allowed her to go to school and to spend her time with her best friend, bearing the discomfort of having the cult's leader constantly refer to him as an example of a follower who was "weak".

Today was going to be like every other day had been so far this summer. Eva wore a simple pair of shorts and decided that it would be cool to wear her Neverending Story T-shirt today since the plan was to watch the movie together at Jack's.

She walked from her room to the kitchen where she could smell something cooking, quite possibly burning. Her mother was still in a robe with curlers in her hair, flipping an egg at the stove, her back to her.

"Off to Jack's this early?" She asked in her usual monotone voice, not even looking at her. Eva stood at the entrance of the kitchen, watching her mom flip and flip and flip the already overcooked egg.

"Yeah, we're gonna watch a movie. He has a brand new TV with a huge screen."

Disinterested in what Eva's plans were and what size her friend's television was, she continued asking questions. "You're not going to have breakfast first?"

"I'm not really hungry." Eva lied. Her mother sighed, shaking her head.

"How many more times am I going to pay for doctor's visits before you just get over that?" She scraped the unappetizing browned egg onto a plate. Eva sighed, tired of hearing this again and again. Her mom would never understand. To her, it was just an annoyance.

Her mother walked past her to the table, setting the plate down before she sat. Eva watched her, waiting for her to finish telling her how much of a burden her health problems were.

"I'm trying to, mom." was all she could think to say, though she knew it really didn't matter what she said.

Her mother looked up at her, taking a bite of the unappetizingly crispy egg. "I had breasts at your age." she said, pointing at Eva's flat chest with the fork.

Eva hated when her mother pointed out her body. She was just fine with her slender, petite self. Her mom tried hard to change that. With her face growing red, she sighed. "I know."

Her mother took another bite, talking with her mouth full. "Don't be home too late."

"I won't," Eva said, making her way out the front door and across the street as fast as possible.

She knocked on Jack's front door and waited, then knocked again after a minute had gone by. It was weirdly quiet, but the car was in the driveway, so she knew they were home.