Awakening || Harry & Hermione

Chapter 11.4

When Dobby apparated Hermione to Grimmauld Place, she wasn't surprised to see Sirius pacing back and forth across the room anxiously.

She was surprised that as soon as Sirius turned to her and asked urgently, "Is Harry all right?" she promptly burst into tears.

Sirius looked at her sobbing form, aghast, and awkwardly came forward to pat her back. "There, there. It can't be all that bad, can it?"

"Oh, Sirius! It's horrible!" Hermione cried, so relieved to be in the presence of somebody who would understand what she had gone through these past few hours. Someone who cared about Harry as much as she did and wouldn't offer her half hearted pleasantries.

"Voldemort's back! Harry won that stupid task but the Triwizard Cup was a portkey and Harry—Harry killed Wormtail and Lucius Malfoy and Mad Eye Moody was a bloody Death Eater this whole time and now Harry is lying on a hospital bed ridden with guilt and trauma and I want to help him—I need to fix this insanity somehow but I don't know how."

"Breathe Hermione. Breathe and then wait until I sit down before you tell me that again. I think I might be going mad."

Sirius did not take the news well. He swore and raged and kicked a few things around while Kreacher appeared and screeched at him to stop destroying furniture. In between his fits of fury, he would mutter, "I need to see Harry!" and Hermione would need to explain again why that was a bad idea. When he had calmed down, he simply collapsed onto the sofa and moaned into his hands: "What the bloody hell are we going to do?"

By now Hermione had regained her senses as well. "You can start by reading this letter from Dumbledore. Looks like he's figured out you're under the Fidelius."

Sirius' expression grew pensive as he read the letter. "He wants me to offer up Grimmauld Place as the Headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix." At Hermione's questioning glance, he explained, "The Order was a resistance group against Voldemort—I was part of it in the last war. Now that he's back again, it makes sense to revive it."

"You're not going to say yes, are you?" Hermione asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Why not? It would be nice to be of use for once instead of sitting here and gathering dust."

"Don't you find it strange? When you needed a place to live, Dumbledore recommended you go to a cave and survive off rats. Now that he needs a place for this organization, he suddenly remembers you again. I'm sure there are plenty of other Order members that could give up their homes and he could fortify it just as well. Why you?"

Sirius rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "All valid points—it is a bit strange and I won't lie and say I don't hold a grudge against the old man. Still, I'm dying to know how Dumbledore got on your bad side."

Hermione flushed. Had her newfound paranoia been that obvious?

"Before I go into that, what do you know about Harry and how he's been living with the Dursleys?"

"I gathered that they were an unpleasant lot from the way Harry jumped at the prospect of living with me when I was still a fugitive and didn't even technically have a home."

"Unpleasant is too kind." She struggled to keep her voice even. "Did you know that they treated him like an animal? That they put bars on his windows and locked him in a room? That they starved him?"

Sirius looked like he had been hit with a bludger.

"No. No, they can't be that bad. Otherwise, Dumbledore wouldn't have let Harry grow up with them—"

"Dumbledore knew," Hermione whispered. "I asked him if Harry could stay somewhere else this summer—I don't think he can go back there in his current state of mind—and he said that there was no other choice. That he knew he was 'condemning Harry to ten dark and difficult years' when he dropped him at the Dursleys, but did it anyway. To keep him safe."

"Bollocks!" Sirius's face was turning purple with rage. "There were so many other choices. So many people who could have taken him in, so many who could have protected him and loved him. And he was given to those muggles all because of that blood protection nonsense? Lily would never have wanted that! She would hate it—"

His voice broke. "She would hate me for letting this happen. Lily and James both. For failing their son."

"Stop it!" Hermione cut in sharply. "Didn't you tell us that the first thing you did when you arrived at Godric's Hollow was to look for Harry? To make sure he was safe? You gave Harry to Hagrid, trusting in Dumbledore and trusting that you would be back soon. It wasn't your fault that things ended up the way they did. You haven't failed anyone, Sirius."

He covered his face with his hands, trembling all over.

"You still have a chance," she said, more softly now. "To make things right. To give him a real family."

"I just want him to be happy. That's all," Sirius said. "Why is the world making it so bloody hard?"

"That's it!"

"What is?" He lowered his hands, confused.

"I didn't understand at the time why I was so furious at Dumbledore. Logically, I should be agreeing with him. After all, he seems to genuinely want to keep Harry alive.

"But that's the thing: he only wants to keep Harry alive. And you and I, we want Harry alive and happy. Free." Hermione thought about it carefully. "They sound similar on the surface, but there's such a world of difference."

"That's because one of those concepts is treating him like a chess piece while the other is treating him like a human being," Sirius said grimly. "I think you're right, Hermione. The Order and Dumbledore can wait. My first priority is Harry."

"That's something we can both agree on." She smiled and began to outline her plan.