Lost

Chap 16: You Haunt Me

From here on we are back to present time. That is one and a half year of knowing Mark and half a year of his demise.
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Surrounded  by nature, on top of a hill form where most of the town can be seen, Katie and Mark sat, gazing away at the beauty. It was during the sunset. And Katie was laying her head on his shoulder, with her eyes closed, as he was leaning on a tree.

"It's nice isn't it?" Mark said softly.

Hearing his voice, she only hummed in reply and slowly opened her eyes. "It's a nice place to come to with someone you love." She smile hearing that. She loved hearing him say that he loved her! She felt herself become more and more relaxed with him next to her. As it happened, she wondered what made her so stressed in the first place. And what she heard next made things very clear. "I wanted to bring you here long time ago but I was too late..."

"Hm?" she said while slightly looking at him, heart beat accelerating, still hoping this to be the reality, "W-what do you mean? We're here now, aren't we?"

"Well I would have liked it better if I had brought you here when I was alive." 

That caused her to shoot off of his shoulder and look at him with sadness, pain and confusion in eyes. "wh-what...?" she whispered holding back her tears and basically denying the truth.

He look at her, softness and compassion in eyes, "you know what I mean, love. You only need to accept it. You need to let me go..."

"Only?! No! You are here. I am here. That's all there is to it. I don't know what you're talking about....", she said with tears racing down her face.

He came forward and caressing her face and gently wiping her tears with his fingers. "Hey, it's going to be alright. You will be fine. But you need to live your life Katie... You know your parents are only giving space but they are worried about you... You are constantly putting up an appearance of your happiness which is not healthy... Katie I love you, I don't want to see you like this... Please sweetheart, I know it'll not be easy but you need to move forward..."

Whimpering and breathing heavily, Katie constantly kept denying but soon she collapsed in him arms, clinging onto him." n-no... I won't - won't let you go... Honey please.... Please... D-don't leave me...." She was crushing him onto her, repeating the same thing again and again and again...

Mark stroke her gently with one hand while the other wrapped around her. "I am so sorry love." He said gravely, in low voice. "But it's my time to go... It's going to be alright. You only need to forgive and move forward."

With that Mark suddenly vanished and Katie fell forward.

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That sudden falling feeling woke Katie up, crying and heart-racing. Again.

It was very early morning, sometime around 4 am.

She sat up in the faint light that came through her window.

"Only need to move on huh?...." she whispered to herself, whipping her eyes.

She has been seeing these dreams for quite a while now, a couple of months for sure. Every time they are someplace nice and then he'd tell her to move on. Then he'd suddenly disappeared and she'd wake up crying, feeling like she had run a marathon. But every time she'd try to sleep again, she just couldn't.

However, she felt different this time. She still felt the pain. She still felt exhausted. She still had the tears. But no new ones were coming. Even though she was sad, her tears didn't flow. In a way that surprised and relieved her but at the same time, she couldn't say if she was finally moving on or if she was just numb to the pain.

It had been near 5 months since she came to know, near 1 year since he passed away. Maybe she was moving on... But she was unable to think about that now. So she just got out of bed and dragged herself to the bathroom. After freshening up, she went to the kitchen to make some tea. She then open her window as the darkness of the sky was slowly fading and stood there sipping her tea.

As the morning breeze brushed through she started thinking about she dream.

Accept it

Let me go

It's going to be alright

Forgive

Move forward

Live

'Like it's so simple...' she thought to herself, sipping tea.

I know it'll not be easy but you need to move forward
 
'Great. Now I can hear the voices from my dream. Maybe I need help.'

The truth was she had started to accept the fact that she would never see him or hear from him again. She didn't want to let go but she knew things would be alright. She was willing to go on with their sweet shared memories. He would always have a place in her heart. But as much as she loved him, she loved her family. Which now consisted of her parents, Steph, Jess and the newest member- Mina. So she was going to live on with them.

Question was: for how long?

....