Soulmates

Oct. 2016

Growing up I would always watch romance movies, not just the popular ones, I'd also watch the most corny rom coms I could find, although I loved them everyone else around me definitely did not. I'd force my mom to watch them with me, she really would get into them. I grew up with this idea of how love was, there was two different ways of how love was showed to me, like I had just mentioned I watched many romance movies, but something always confused me, why on earth did my parents not love eachother like the people in the movie did? Why couldn't they act like they were in love, I mean they had to have once loved eachother right?

That's questions I'll never get the answer to, I'll just watch as they crumble apart. And so does my idea of love right along with it.

Growing up homeschooled was very hard, I always saw everyone else be able to go out and live their lives to the fullest, but me, I had to stay in and only speak to my family I lived with.  Which you get used to, almost way too used to. I sometimes forget how awkward I am in public sittings, I believe for others it's very funny to watch as I stumble with getting out my words. I'm the laughing stock in almost every situation. I've grown very used to it.

I had one brother and one older sister, she was already graduated and moved out into a college a state away. She was very smart. Intelligent was her vibe she gave off to everyone she met. I miss her but she's only a state away. I looked up to my brother more than my own parents. He was so full of life, yet so annoying at the same time, he was turning 15, which meant he had to go to a different school for drive classes, to get his license he would need to go to a public school. Which was very exciting for him, he loved doing adventures stuff, and yes I know going to public school for three months probably doesn't sound too adventurous to most. To us sheltered children it was definitely gonna be an experience we would talk about for months.

I was woken up today by Toby, our house doggie of 10 years although we got him when I was only 3 I still remember him as a puppy, his bark used to be very adorable and funny, now it's just straight up annoying, I can't help but feel bad for the poor lil guy, he's lived so long he can't see so when he has bad dreams he barks until someone pets him awake. Luckily (sarcasm) for me I had to be the one to pet him awake today. At 5:30 in the morning. Yay.

I run out of my room hoping I can stop him fast so I can go back to sleep really peacefully.

Lucky for me he's right outside my brothers room down the hall just about ten steps away. I slow my pace down and my run goes into a slow walk so I don't wake him by startling him. I reach out my hand and very gently brush the palm of my hand over his back bone, just as I know he would, he slowly opens his eyes only to fall back right asleep not even two seconds later.

He's not barking anymore so that's all that matters.

I pet his little pug head and stand back up from how I was scrunched down, my knees pop loud and it almost makes me jump, any little noise scares me. Especially when it's dark outside.

I return back to my room after grabbing a water bottle. Something about late nights make me thirsty for water.

I lightly put my bottle of water on my desk, trying not to wake anyone with unnecessary noise. I search under my pillow for my tablet. Yes that's right I have a tablet...I'm 13 ok? Don't judge. My mom says phones are bad for you. I think my dad put that idea in her head, but whatever. My older brother has an iPod touch it's the prettiest color blue I've seen. He's lucky, I want one so bad but money is tight. Money is always tight around here. But I'd never let my parents spend their hard earned money on an iPod when it could go to bills.

That's just how I was raised.

Finally finding the on button on my tablet to turn it on to check the clock one more time before I fall back into sleep. It says 5:47. Dang I wasn't as fast as I thought I was waking up Toby.