Chasing The Moon

Chapter 44

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I'm sad :(

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I stared out the hospital window, snow blowing across the rooftops. I had been here a week already, although it felt like a day since I slept the majority of it. I was wrapped up in my blankets, slightly shivering due to the utmost lack of warmth this gown provided. I was almost tempted to ask for real clothes, but I still felt awkward around my nurse.

Snapping me out of my focus on the outside, Kei walked through the door, knocking a couple times. I turned to him and smiled, repositioning myself so I was sitting up.

"How're you feeling? You look more lively today, well, as lively as you can be when you're bound to a hospital bed," he chuckled, sitting down on a chair next to me.

"I don't feel awful. It doesn't hurt as bad," I motioned towards my stomach with my hand before placing it in his.

A doctor walked in with a clipboard, nodding gently, taking a seat next to me and across from Kei. We stayed silent while he looked over the pages clipped together, reading them thoroughly.

Actually, I hadn't had the chance to talk to any of my doctors about my situation, my exhausted state making that rather hard. I peeked over at Kei and wondered if he had talked to them, although it was probably unlikely.

The doctor finally looked up from his sheets and smiled, setting them in his lap.

"How are you feeling?"

His voice was deep, but it was weirdly comforting.

"Good. I feel rested, but I'm sure that's not a surprise," I smiled.

He laughed, nodding almost sarcastically.

"True that, but it's not uncommon, you've been through a lot."

I looked down to my lap, fiddling with the corner.

"Now about what I came here to talk to you about," he started, "you're dad is in custody right now, thank god."

Kei snickered silently, and we all smiled. I could already tell that we both liked him.

"But, we can't give him his final sentence if we don't know his crimes. We tried to get him to talk, but he flat out refused," he frowned, and I knew exactly where this was headed.

"Now, I'm we're not going to ask you to tell us everything right away, since I'm sure you've gone through a lot, but we want him put away as soon as possible."

I squeezed Kei's hand to keep the tears at bay, I knew they were just begging to spill out. I slighty shook my head so I wouldn't think of the memories, but they were slowly seeping through.

"And that brings me to my next subject," he stated, looking over at Kei, "if you would rather talk about this personally, you can just say the word."

Kei and I met eyes for a couple of seconds before he nodded, fixing his glasses.

"He's right, you don't have talk about whatever it is in front of me."

I shook my head, tightening my grip on the blanket and Kei's hand.

"I want him here."

The doctor nodded, looking back through the papers.

"Now, since our jobs are to take care of you and notice anything wrong with your body, we had no choice but to check everything, and that's what led us to your wrists."

My lips quivered, as this was something I was not predicting to be the subject of conversation. I couldn't tell if I regretted not telling Kei to leave, now both of his hands covering my own. I wanted to see his face, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

"Have you ever been to a therapist, Tadashi?"

I shook my head, avoiding all the eyes on me. Suddenly I was feeling heavily surrounded, despite there only being two people in the room.

"N-no, I've never really talked to anyone about it..."

A short yet uncomfortable silence washed over the room, making me fidget in my spot.

"Well, we don't want to force you into anything, but it's our job to make sure you're in the best state of mind, so we've set up appointments for you whenever you're released. We've talked to Kei's family, and they seem to be more than welcome to let you stay with them hearing the news. I'd say you're very lucky, and I think you're journey to recovery is going to be a successful one."

I watched as the white covers under me turned grey, tears slowly dropping across it. I wiped them off my cheeks with one hand while Kei stroked my knuckles on the other.

It was so much to take in, so much I took me a while to process it all.

Lucky? I suppose that was true, considering the fact I was getting to stay with Kei for as long as I needed to. Despite this fact, I didn't feel lucky, I felt like it would be so long before I finally felt good again.

Therapy sounded like such a unbelievable thing, I had never even actually thought about it.

I almost denied it, but...

I didn't need to make another mistake that could ruin my chances of having a good mental health.

I wouldn't let my selfishness take control of me again.

"And lucky for you, you're going to be out of here very soon, so not only that but you can start the process even quicker."

I couldn't help but to smile at his enthusiasm.

He didn't even know me, yet he wanted to see me happy, he was putting into so much time and effort for me. It felt foriegn, but it was a feeling that lit up my heart.

With that being the end of our well needed conversation, he bowed down before leaving the room, just me and Kei's unspoken mindset radiating through the air.

As soon as I turned to him I was wrapped in warmth and darkness, a weight crushing me to the bed. I wrapped my arms around his waist, more hearty sobs escaping from my chest.

I could hear his sniffling as he moved from being tucked inside the mattress, meeting eyes with mine. I didn't like seeing the tears streaking down his cheeks, despite the smile plastered across his lips.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. I should've been there for you and maybe I could have done something sooner," he chuckled, although I could see straight through his expression, clarity that his chuckle was caused by his own personal regret.

I held him closer to me, tightening my grip on his shirt.

"It's not your fault, I don't ever wanna hear you say that again. I shouldn't have isolated myself from you, I shouldn't have ran away despite you asking me not to," I sobbed into his shoulder, both of our hiccups filling any silence that was created.

He relaxed his body deeper into the bed, yet keeping me tight in his arms. The pressure was hurting my sides, but damnit I didn't care one bit, I was just so glad to have him in my arms again.

"I'm going to make sure you're the happiest person alive, Tadashi. I won't ever let you suffer alone again."

I smiled, the tears sticking to my cheeks fall onto his shirt, turning it a deeper color.

"I'm not cold anymore."

He paused for a second, some wheels squeaking outside adding to the atmosphere. I smiled internally as I could feel his confusion.

"What?"

"This bed, and room, it's cold as hell," I laughed, rubbing circles into his back, "so, thanks for helping me be warm again."

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You ever read what you wrote and be like...this makes no sense.

Anyways I just know that doctor is hawt 😩☝️

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