Falling

Chapter XIII

Nima gnawed on her knuckle as she watched the ship's opening, the winds having died down significantly since they'd arrived. Ever since Cal had reported that the Empire was here on Ilum, her anxiety spiked. Screw the fact that they might be tracking them; she wanted the ginger to be safe. That's all she cared about, his safety. At least he sounded more chipper on the comms (or as much as one could be when talking about the enemy).

She hadn't been lying to him all those hours ago. She wanted to be out there helping him. She hated sitting around waiting for him to return when she could go out there and keep a close eye and prevent him from getting hurt.

Why? Why was she so worried about him not coming back? Why now? Why not before? Sure, she had pondered whether he was okay when she hadn't seen him in a couple of days back on Bracca, but not like this. Not to the point where it was eating her up inside.

"Are you alright, Nima?"

She nearly flinched and looked up at Cere who was coming out of the hallway.

"You've been sitting there for quite a while. I thought you'd be freezing by now."

She was right. It was cold as Hoth out there, maybe even colder, and she had been getting gusts of icy wind from the snowstorm sent her way.

Nima shook her head, turning back to the opening to watch the white landscape. "No."

Cere's lips twitched upward at her commitment. "You're worried for him."

"Oh, yeah? What gave it away?"

"He'll be fine, Nima. You have to trust him."

"I do trust him. Doesn't mean I can't worry about him."

"I never said you couldn't. You just... you shouldn't get too attached to him."

She looked at the woman, her blood simmering. "Excuse me?"

Cere reconsidered her words, searching for better ones. "What you two have is special, I won't deny that. But he needs to focus. He can't have any distractions right now."

The girl scoffed. "So I'm a distraction now. Great."

"I don't mean it like that. I just... I only want what's best for him."

"Best for him? Or best for the Jedi?"

She frowned. "Nima—"

"You sure proved your priorities when he came back from his trip on Dathomir." She rose to her feet, glaring. "There he was practically shaking, and the first thing you asked about was that stupid casket."

"Nima—"

"He didn't need to tell you about his progress, he needed someone to lean on. And then what do you do, you dump all of this information on him about your past when he clearly isn't in the mindset to process it. But you put that on him anyway."

Cere's mouth pressed into a thin line. "I had to tell him the truth."

"There were plenty of better times, I bet."

"He needed to hear it, Nima. I know it looked bad, but he needed to know. He was giving up hope. We need that right now. You don't understand how important this is. It's bigger than him, than me, than all of us. With this Holocron, we could bring an end to the Empire. We could bring back the Jedi Order."

"Yeah, I get that. But why him? He's been through enough as it is."

"Then who would I send? You?"

"If need be."

The woman hesitated, her gaze bouncing between her own as if searching. For what, she didn't know.

"No," she finally decided. "I can't send you. Not yet."