Addiction

Five - Nick

Before bed I call up Jay to check on him. Today would be his first day without alcohol, if he's trying to quit like I asked.

After a few rings Gatsby answers with, "Hello old sport!"

"Hello Jay! I called to check on you. Are you doing okay without alcohol?" I inquire.

"To be honest with you Nick, I drank today. I refused a drink at lunch today! But after Wolfsheim left I had an urge too strong to resist. It wasn't enough to get me too terribly drunk."

"Jay-"

"I'm sorry Nick," Jay interrupts.

"It's alright. I'm proud of you for saying no at lunch. That's a good start."

"Really?"

"Of course. Just keep trying, okay?"

"I will. I promise you. I'll try until I get better."

"Thank you Jay."

"It's getting late. We should get to bed."

"Goodnight Gatsby. Sleep well."

"Goodnight old sport."

I hang up the phone and let out the breath I'd been holding. I'm not tired enough to sleep yet, so I decide to write. I'm going to write about everything that's on my mind.

I love Gatsby. I'm in love with Gatsby and he will never know it. He'd hate me if I told him. He'd be disgusted with me. I wish I could have him. I just want him to be okay. I know he'll get better, I just know it. If we could be together life would be grand. We could live in his mansion together. In the afternoons we could go swimming. We could dance around the halls while no one's watching. That's all I want but I'll never have it. Such a sad life this is.

I'm tired now, so I set the pen down. I crumple up the paper and toss it. Someday I'll get over my feelings. This might be the best way to start