Chapter 33

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WARNING: Slight self-harm, insomnia. These just keep coming, don't they? I'm sorry

"Wait, go through it again. So, on a scale on 1-10 you messed up-"

"25. I fucked up 25."

"Virge, that's your age."

"Exactly."

"What does that even mean?"

"It means I've fucked up a lot." Virgil sighed and stopped scratching his nails along his arm.

"Right. And what happened again? And... don't swear."

"Jesus, Remy. What happened wa- wait, why can't I swear? You always swear."

"Yeah, but, um, Emile's younger brother's over."

"Who?"

"I think you met him ages ago. Patton?"

"Oh. Him." Virgil said, his insides going completely numb.

"Shoot, I'm sorry Virge. I forgot."

"Whatever, that's not the problem."

"Then just tell me what the problem is, rather than telling me 'I messed up' scales and stuff like that."

"I, um, I... I've been really horrid to Roman."

"Well good, the bitch des-"

"No, no, he doesn't. He really doesn't." Virgil bit the inside of his cheek and started scratching his arm again. "And just when we might've actually been getting somewhere, I had to mess it up. Well, past me and me had to mess it up."

"Huh?"

"I've been really terrible to Roman, okay?!" Virgil snapped. "And I don't know how long I've been so horrid to him for but it's a long time, at least since I was 15."

"What are you going to do about it, then?"

"He's not gonna want to talk to me."

"Why don't you get that kid... uh, what's his face... Aaron, that's it. He helped you and Roman when you were all nerdy teenagers."

"I doubt he'd talk to me either."

"Look, Virge, I've got to go now." Virgil bit the inside of his cheek. "Just, whatever you do, don't go back to hurting yourself, okay?"

Virgil stopped scratching long scratches down his arm.

"Uh, yeah, okay. Bye."

"Yeah, bye."

Virgil sighed and put his phone down. He ran both hands through his hair and sat down heavily in a chair.

"You're stupid, Virgil." He muttered. "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid." He said, punctuating every 'stupid' with a hit to his head.

Virgil crossed his arms and bit the inside of his cheek.

"Maybe I should get some sleep." He thought. "If I'm gonna be allowed, that is."


Virgil stared at his ceiling, painted greyish by the weak moon outside.

"I'm really stupid." He muttered, putting his hands over his eyes. "And I'm the worst kind of bully." He thought.

His phone screen lit up and his watch beeped. "Jesus Christ." Virgil thought. "How long have I been awake?"

Virgil looked at his phone. "I must be insane." He thought. "Well, that would make sense."

He dialled a number and waited, hoping that they wouldn't actually pick up.

"Hello?"

"Issac, hi."

"Virgy, do you have any idea how late it is?" Issac asked, his voiced laced with sleep.

"Yeah, I'm really sorry. I just... this can't really wait until morning."

"If it's anything to do with what Remy told me, don't worry about it. You'll be able to get th-through it." Issac said, a yawn breaking his words.

"Yeah, um... I, um, I'm a good person, right?"

"I mean, as long as you're my brother-"

"No, Issac, I need you to tell me that I'm a good person and I need that to be the truth."

"Well, it is the truth. And you are a good person. And good people slip up. This is one of those times." Issac yawned again. "Look, I need to go. I've got class tomorrow and-"

"Yeah, right, sleep. Sorry for bothering you."

"Bye, Virgy."

"Bye." Virgil doubted Issac even heard him.

I am very sorry. However, I didn't nearly cry when writing this so... maybe I'm just more attuned and used to Virgil angst? Or... or is this somehow less angsty? Either way, um, yeah, sorry.
Bye,
Blaize

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