keep it professional - r. taylor

23

~January 1980~

The drive back to the house was awkward to say the least. Roger was furious all the way home. He kept mumbling something under his breath the whole drive back, too quiet for me to understand what he was saying. I was careful not to stay anything that could anger him even more. Clearly, Freddie's little comments hurt more than I would've thought. Based on Roger's complaints during these past few weeks, I thought he would've built up kind of a force against them, always assuming that he was just messing around. But I guess this time was different for some reason.

The humming of the engine was the only noise I heard on the whole car ride. I didn't mind the silence. It gave me time to think about what Freddie had mentioned. "Loyalty is very important" Maybe I was reading too far into things. It definitely wouldn't be the first time. But it seemed to really strike a nerve with Roger. Maybe there was something else that he wasn't telling me.

Once we got inside, Roger hurried over to the kitchen cabinets and pulled out a glass. He then took out one of the bottles of whiskeys we had tucked away near the back. "Want some?" he asked me, not even turning to face me.

"No, I'm okay."

Pouring himself a glass, Roger finally snapped. "What the hell is his problem? I mean, we're all just trying to have a good time, but he has to ruin it with his snide little comments."

"I'm sure he didn't mean it."

"That's because you always believe the best in people. You always think that any rude comment is made just because they're having one bad day."

"Hey, don't be attacking me right now. I'm not the one who's gotten you all upset."

"I know. It's just... that's not the Freddie I know. The Freddie I know wouldn't be spending his entire evening prancing around the house talking to all these fakes and phonies who are just pretending to like him to raise their own ego. He would be making fun of those people with all of us. And that fucking leech Paul. Even saying his name makes me want to punch him. I know there's something strange happening behind that."

As Roger rambled on and on about his pure hatred for Paul, Freddie's words gnawed at my mind. I couldn't get them out of my head. They just replayed over and over, with Roger's reaction following soon after it. Finally, I had enough of it and needed to get it out in the open before it chewed me up inside.

"What did Freddie mean?" I asked, looking out the window into the night sky. My voice was barely loud enough for Roger to hear over his own.

"What babe?"

"What did Freddie mean?" I asked again, this time with more urgency and confidence in my voice. "Before we left. The whole thing he mentioned about loyalty. What did he mean?" I finally turned around to face him, trying to see if he indicated any kind of response from his facial expressions.

"What happened to him not meaning anything he said?"

"Didn't you say that was my problem? I put too much faith in people. I trust them too much." Even though I was just saying that, he clearly picked up on the implication. Taking another sip of his drink, Roger ran his fingers through his hair mustering up some kind of response.

"Are you asking if I cheated on you?"

"God no!"

"Then why are you dwelling on what Freddie said?"

"Because you seemed to have some kind of reaction to it. You got all tensed up and serious. Looked like you were thinking of swinging a punch at him."

"Ellie, listen." He sat down on the couch, motioning for me to take the seat next to him. Taking my seat, Roger wrapped his arm around me and my head instinctively rested against his shoulder. "Hurting you is the last thing I would ever want to do."