Ruled, ᴘᴇᴛᴇʀ ᴋᴀᴠɪɴsᴋʏ

its all on me

Long lines of sweat culminated in droplets that slid down my face. I was as drenched as if I had just exited the shower, but not as relaxed, far from that. My chest heaved up and down violently while I tried to catch my breath and gather my thoughts. My heart seemed like it wanted to burst through my ribcage and make a run for it. It being anything outside of my body.

Disoriented, I opened my eyes and sat up straight, leaning against the headboard of the bed. 

Just a nightmare - I thought when I became aware of everything that surrounded me. 

Peter slept peacefully beside me. His face was flushed, curls messy and his lips were plump and curled into a small smile. He seemed to be having a nicer dream than I did. It wasn't odd that he didn't wake up me, when Peter slept, he downed like a rock. The world could be ending and he'd sleep profoundly through the entirety of it.  

The moon barely lit Peter's room, just with a soft silver haze, but it was enough for me to see where I was going when I stood up from the bed and made my way towards the bathroom. The bright white light I switched on, hurt my eyes for a slipt second and even though I knew it wouldn't wake Peter up, I peeked through the door towards the bed. As expected he hadn't moved, looking as ever, beautiful.

Quickly Peter's old high school t-shirt from the lacrosse team, that reached just to the middle of my thighs, formed a pile on the floor along with my underwear and the dirty scrunchie I had used to twist my hair up in a knot with. My fingers, which were still shaking from the hellish dream I had just had, turned the faucet towards the hot setting on the maximum. Water began bursting through and hitting the porcelain of the tub loudly, but then again, I didn't need to be careful with the noise, and I spread some shower gel around to create foam. After a while, I slid inside the fuming, bubbly water. My skin crawled with the sudden heat and my hairs rose towards the ceiling. The hot sensation against my body was relaxing and calming in just the right way. I leaned back, supporting my head on the edge of the white tub, and closed my eyes, solely enjoying the fact that instead of being injured at the bottom of the stairs I was having an amazing bath. 

I felt my entire nervous system shut down and become completely numb to any worry or care. At that moment I was just a floating mass. A happy, peaceful, and gradually sleepy floating mass. I felt like a baby in the womb. Slowly I felt my consciousness drift away, my eyes began to feel heavy and my lids urged to seal until they did, not to open again.

Disturbing waves of warm water hit my face awake. 

For the second time in one night, I had woken up scared out of my mind, although, this time the sight waiting for me when I opened my eyes made up for everything else, even the way my heart felt to the bottom of the tub. 

''What are you doing?'' I trailed slowly rubbing water from my eyes. 

''Joining you.'' Peter smiled lazily, plopping down and making water come out from the top of the bath, splashing all over the tiled floor of his bathroom. His legs immediately intertwined between mine and his hands grabbed my ankles, his thumb drawing circles around the talus. Maybe he could be woken up from his slumber. ''If I can.''

''What if you couldn't?'' I laughed. Only then, I became aware of what was truly happening and tried to pull some bubbles towards certain parts of my body.

''Really?'' His laugh was raspy and hoarse and totally made me shiver within myself. ''You know I've seen you naked right?'' 

''Yes. But this is different!'' I defended feeling my cheeks suddenly heat up. 

Sex is often labeled as the most intimate thing you can do with someone, but, the pinnacle of intimacy, to me, was that. Without any lust, without any judgement, without any ulterior motive being a hundred percent vulnerable together. What says vulnerable more than being naked? Being naked is being undressed of all layers and masks we wear every day that numb us down and hide our insecurities away. Every wall we put up every day gets destroyed by the warm water and it's just us left. Us in the purest form. To be comfortable enough around someone to be the purest form of me was an unmatched feeling that cured even the darkest of nightmares.