𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐈𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐁𝐋𝐄 [𝐣.𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫]

9: 𝔧𝔞𝔪𝔢𝔰'𝔰 𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔳𝔢𝔩𝔬𝔲𝔰 𝔰𝔢𝔠𝔯𝔢𝔱 𝔨𝔢𝔢𝔭𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔟𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔦𝔢𝔰

Some days, you just woke up and knew that life was going to suck.

This was the case for Remus Lupin, as he shielded himself from the bright sunlight filtering in towards the window. He could hear Pete, with his quill scratching aggressively away at an essay due later that day. James's incessant humming was getting on his nerves.

"Alright, Moony?" Sirius called from his spot on his bed. He got an endorphin rush just from saying his name. How odd. Something had shifted inside him after they fought. There was always an urge to be around him. It must've been guilt, he decided.

"Mmph," Remus mumbled, throwing his covers over his head. If he didn't get complete and utter silence in the next five minutes, he was going to lose it.

He could feel the rough fibers from a tag on his pajamas, rubbing against the base of his neck. He laid, face down with his cheeks pressed against the warm sheets, counting his breaths. Everything hurt, everything sucked.

Some days, the world was too loud. He couldn't fathom how everybody just got up, smiling as they went out into a world of absolute havoc. Where did you muster up that energy from? Some days he was absolutely drained from the beginning, an old car with no fuel, yet expected to drive like everybody else, shiny and undamaged.

He felt hot, burning up faster than a star going into supernova. He was also frigid as if his limbs were encased in ice. There was no equilibrium, just chaos, and disarray that raged through his body, muscles sore.

"Yeah, you're not going to class today," James decided. It stopped being Remus's call a long time ago, seeing as his blatant willpower kept him from staying in bed. He'd once fainted during class, and it had been quite a workout trying to get him to Madame Pomfrey's.

Sirius's birthday was in a week. What was he even going to get? Remus was awful at gift-giving, and with the recent strain financially, he couldn't imagine Sirius being impressed with any of his feeble attempts at a gift.

Sirius peered over at the lanky boy, his limbs sprawled out across his four-poster bed. He wanted more than anything to run his fingers through his hair, tell him it'll all be okay. Truthfully, he wasn't sure. Remus's transformations had been slowly getting worse, the werewolf more violent than ever before.

He pressed his fingers against his burning forehead, reaching out to pour a glass of water. Remus took it slowly, feeling his fingertips against the cool glass. "I'll bunk off if you want, stay as Padfoot. Your call, Moony."

"No," he replied quietly, closing his eyes. He could feel a headache building up between his eyes, "No, you're not using me as an excuse to skip classes. I just need sleep s'all."

Sirius frowned, protests already spilling out of his lips. "I'm not-"

"Go to class, Sirius."

Slowly, the boys left, one by one, each telling him they'd bring back notes, homework, breakfast, even chocolate, which sounded most promising.

It was just one of those days.

*******

Brigitte deftly ignored Lily's searching gaze. She knew that Lily wanted to apologize, she knew Lily felt guilty, yet she couldn't bring herself to speak to the redhead. She returned the smiles, ignored the hungry stares as she sat in Transfiguration class.

Maybe it was better if she just ignored people altogether. She didn't need Potter and his gang of friends, she didn't need Lily, she didn't need anyone. She had been fine all alone all these years, hadn't she?

Brigitte liked to believe she thrived on solitary. She loved the silence, being assured that there would never be any sting of betrayal. No tears, no mess, just her. Alone.