Memories {Oumasai/Saiouma}

~ 27 ~ A Totally Normal Walk

⚠️~TW~⚠️Suicidal Ideation.

*~*~*

"God I'm so fucking bored!" I yelled, throwing the boring book into a boring corner. I had been doing anything I could think of for the past three hours to keep myself occupied, from cleaning to moving around furniture to even reading. Shuichi had to leave earlier that day to go to an 'emergency work meeting' which I wasn't allowed to join. Shuichi said he didn't have anybody else at the agency that wouldn't try to start a fight with me, but it's not like I wanted to stay with them anyway so I didn't complain.

Maybe a walk will help ease my boredom?  I got up from Shuichi's bed and grabbed my phone, debating on whether I should actually leave the house or not. Maybe the walk could help take my mind off... them too. Jumping at the chance to try and help ease my grief over DICE, I hurried out the house.

I figured that if I walked around where there were a lot of people, Shuichi wouldn't be too mad if he caught me outside. I understood that Shuichi was just trying to protect me, and I didn't care if he was being over-protective of me, but I couldn't keep living in quarantine like that. I locked the front door behind me and skipped through the streets to get to a main road where I slowed to a casual walk.

Breathing in the fresh air, I felt all the anxiety and grief start to lift off my shoulders as I watched people walk around me going about their day. It's kind of crazy really, you can be walking past someone just minding your own business, and they could be a murderer, or you might be the last one to ever see them alive, you never know what could happen. I wonder if anyone saw the massacre in the warehouse. Would they have just run away in fear of being the next victim? Or did they just ignore it assuming it was a bunch of kids watching horror movies in an abandoned place because 'that's just teenagers for you'?

"Watch out!" Out of instinct I jumped ahead as I tried to find what was happening. I just spotted the light post before it fell to the ground next to me, causing my entire body to flinch and for me to fall on my ass. What the fuck?! Aren't those not supposed to fall down?!

"Are you okay Sir?" A stranger knelt down beside me.

"Of course I'm okay!" I grinned and jumped up, dusting myself off. "I best be off now!" Running off as quick as I could without seeming weird, I made my way to a nearby back-street where less people could see me. I rested my forehead in my hands as I leant against a hopefully clean part of the brick wall. Taking a few deep breaths to calm myself down, I eventually straightened back up and let out a long sigh before going back to the main road and continuing my walk, hoping that I would end up calm by the end of it.

Why did that lamp fall down? It could've killed me if I didn't leap forward in time. Was that a coincidence? No, there's no way, I'm just being paranoid. 

After listening to the thoughts that raced through my head a mile a minute I found myself staring at the shadow covered pavement at my feet. Raising my head to look at the bridge above me, I let out a loud sigh as I came to a stop, taking in the dim shadow now covering my face and the sky made of pale clouds. 

As I lost myself in thought I noticed the sky... cracking? Snapping my body out of its trance I ran as fast as I could back the way I came, a falling piece of wood painfully pushing me forward as the bridge came crashing down behind me. The sound of horrified yelling and splintering wood and cement sounded around me as I fell to the ground, my hands slightly cushioning my fall onto the pavement covered in splinters and loose pebbles. Groaning in pain, I rolled over on my back and stared at the sky peeping through the one small crack in the clouds.

"Oh my, dear are you alright?" A posh voice asked. The elderly woman came into my peripherals as she looked over my almost lifeless body.

"Y-yeah I'm fine, just a little scratched up." I stuttered, slowly sitting up and dusting myself off, taking notice of the small cuts and rock indents adorning my arms. 

"Here, take this sweetie." The woman rummaged in her oversized handbag and pulled out a damp cotton pad, delicately handing it to me.

"Thank you." Taking the pad I unwrapped it and applied it to my arms, hissing as the alcohol touched my wounds. It took all my willpower to keep my body from shaking and having a breakdown right then and there, instead I jumped to my feet whilst ignoring the cries of pain from my body and turned on my heel. "Nice meeting you!" 

Giggling, I slowly walked off, breaking into a full sprint after a minute that would put Usain Bolt to shame. I wasn't controlling my body, I let someone else take the reigns and take me wherever it wanted to as I sat back and watched. Finally, it clicked in my head, causing tears to run down my face out of pure fear and terror as I fumbled with the key in my hand that was attempting to fit into the keyhole of the front door.

You'll be safe at home, I won't be gone for long. Don't talk to anyone you don't trust okay?

Shuichi's words echoed through my mind, guilt accompanying them making me terrifyingly nauseous as I stumbled through the front door.

He was so scared to leave me on my own. 

What if... what if I come home to find you dead Kokichi?

I told him nothing bad would happen. I laughed and told him how skilled I was at martial arts, which he clearly knew not to believe.

Please, call me if anything weird happens. No matter how stupid it may seem just please let me know you're okay.

Slamming my body through the door, I only just made it into the bathroom before throwing my guts up into the toilet. Pain coursed through my sides as I heaved up all the contents in my stomach plus more, my body trying to rid me of the guilt.

I could've died... 

Leaning back against the wall I slammed my head into it, ignoring the agonising pain that rattled my skull as a result. I didn't know what to do, I was terrified that the murderer was getting close, that's the only conclusion I could come to other than the day just being a massive coincidence while wrecked with anxiety and shock.

I chose to leave the house... if I died I would've deserved it. Why didn't I stay under that bridge... it would've made everything better...

Slapping my face, I stood up and forced away the thoughts. Of course I can't die! Shuichi needs me to do his job for him after all!  I giggled to myself as I cleaned up the mess I made. Maybe I should call him, I can't let my thoughts get to me like that again. It would just make Shu sad and I can't let that happen. 

As I made my way back to the kitchen to grab my phone that fell out of my pocket during the rush to the bathroom, I  felt my stomach sink again as guilt came back to haunt me, my body still numb from the shock of almost dying twice alone with only just vomiting. The few seconds it took for Shuichi to answer my call felt like hours, it was agonising yet I had no clue why.

"Kokichi? Is everything alright?"  Upon hearing his voice the tears started flowing, I fell to the floor and started sobbing into the phone. I heard a lot of background chatter but I assumed that was his co-workers being dickheads.

"Hey it's alright, take some deep breaths for me okay?"  I attempted to follow his instructions but only succeeded in hyperventilating.

Shuichi gently shushed me, "Breathe with me Kichi. Breathe in...hold... and out..."  We repeated a few deep breaths until I calmed down enough to speak and not pass out.

"Sorry Shu..."

"Don't apologise, whatever happened I'm here for you okay? Do you need me to come home?"

I nodded subconsciously, "Yes please..." I felt bad for making him have to leave his work, but I really needed him... and he said it was okay...

"Okay I'm coming home now then, I'll be about fifteen minutes okay?"  I was about to question him on why a normally five minute trip was going to take fifteen minutes, but a loud thud and crack sounded inside my skull as my body fell to the ground like a ragdoll. My vision was extremely blurred, all I could focus on was the excruciating pain inside my skull which was forcing a horrid, bloodcurdling scream escape my throat.

"Kokichi? Kokichi what happened?"  I could hear Shuichi's concerned, faint voice from the phone that had yet again, dropped on the floor beside me. A high-pitched laugh sounded around me as a snap accompanied by a shoe stepping on my phone, snapping it beyond repair. The colour grey filled my vision before it completely faded to black.