Do You Want Fries With That?

Part 5

Where to go from here?

For Tom, between hearing Malfoy beg for mercy and Slughorn frantically call corporate, he was done.

Clearly, trying to woo Harry Potter was a lot of effort. Perhaps too much effort.

"Malfoy," Tom held up a hand and immediately, Draco ceased his inane chattering, "do get to the point."

"Potter suspects that Slughorn wasn't remiss in offering you breaks or water."

Tom sighed. "Damn." He began to pack his clown accessories along with the wig and the suit in the corporate licensed clown bag. At the very least, it was a positive that he would likely go back to working the register. On the downside, he would have to interact with people again, and he couldn't get away with just staring at them from a distance.

"Shall we commence 'Plan Drown the Clown', my Lord?"

"No, we better not. Did Potter say anything else?" Tom made sure he had packed everything, then gestured for Malfoy to follow him.

Malfoy consulted his 'Tomarry is my OTP <3' journal. "No, my Lord. That's everything. Will you require anything else?"

Before Tom could reply, the faint sound of ambulance sirens grew louder, until he could see the red flashing light of the van from behind the frosted doors of the entrance.

He looked over the golden arch of the 'M' logo on the door, to see Potter consulting with one of the paramedics, miming an old woman collapsing, then pointing to the McDonald's. Oh, for fuck's sake.

He pushed open the doors and Harry jabbed a finger at Tom's direction. "It's him! The depressed, tall boy!"

Tom turned around. Wait, Malfoy was looking depressed lately. Tom could allow him his own verse on his next rap, perhaps. He would have to work on sounding more enthusiastic, but certainly, the chance to be featured on one of Lord Volemort's raps would cheer anyone up. Tall, however? If anyone was tall, it was Tom. Malfoy was of average height.

"Malfoy!" Tom called, causing Draco to look around wildly, and point at himself. Tom nodded. "Tell Barty to meet in the studio tomorrow, we have a new track to record!"

Poor Malfoy, he looked nervous. He must have been so excited that he was scared to mess up. "Yes, of course, My Lord."

Tom looked back to the paramedics and Harry. "So, what seems to be the problem?"

Harry stared blankly, while the paramedics just looked baffled.

"Tom, remember how you passed out earlier? These nice people are just going to make sure you're alright," Harry spoke like he was trying to calm a wary horse, which did not make sense because Tom was fine!

Tom called back, "Me? I'm fine!"

"Tom, you're clearly not fine if you think you should record even more raps."

One of the paramedics, the one with pink hair, spoke up, "Sir, if you seriously have heatstroke, you have to go to the hospital. Heatstroke isn't something you can just recover from at home." She gestured to the stretcher. "Why don't you just come with us, and you can probably go home tomorrow, depending on the seriousness of your condition."

"My Lord, tell them about Operation Dehydration!" Malfoy called out, and Tom vowed then to make his life a living hell.

But what was the best way to get revenge? First, that solo on his next rap? Gone. Barty would be overjoyed to have a featured verse. Next, his father. Tom could try and seduce him, but unfortunately, Lucius was married and seemed to be heterosexual.

Yet, before he could complete his plans of making Malfoy rue the day he tried to cross him, Potter smiled rather manically. "Tom, please tell us about Operation Dehydration."

Tom swallowed. "Ah, no thank you!"

Potter walked up to him and flicked his forehead. "Dumbass, tell me that Operation Dehydration isn't you deliberately dehydrating yourself."

Tom scowled. "Okay, then I won't."

Potter screamed, "You sociopath! Why the fuck would you purposefully dehydrate yourself? God, I thought we were going to become a corporate fighting power couple," Harry continued talking, but was now flailing his arms in the air, while the paramedics began wheeling the stretcher and the IV back into the ambulance, "and take down the bourgeoisie, but noooo, you had to be crazy, didn't you?"

"Am I crazy for trying to woo you?"

"Yes, you freak! You don't woo people by fainting in a clown suit!"

The pink haired paramedic handed Tom a bottle of water and said, "Call 999 if you experience any symptoms of heatstroke, and for God's sake, don't be an idiot again."

Tom nodded.

"How can you be so smart but so dumb at the same time? Legitimately, how? You're in fucking Mensa, Tom. You have an IQ of like, 160, you put it on your Tumblr!" Harry shouted, and Tom just stared at the ground while being berated.

Potter thought he was smart! Of course, he knew he was, but hearing it come from Potter was very nice, he had to admit.

And Tom knew, with sudden clarity, that there could never be too much for Harry. No line Tom wouldn't cross. Harry was Tom's past, present, and future.

Tom walked the few remaining feet it took to reach Harry, causing him to pause, and Tom kissed him.

In a heartbeat, the kiss was unreciprocated, and in the next, it was.

They pulled apart after a few seconds.

"You're still, like, the ultimate dumbass," Harry said, and grabbed the water bottle still clutched in Tom's sweaty hand. He opened it, and pushed it back into Tom's hands. "Drink that."

Tom drank it.

Harry spoke again. "Tom, listen. You're a creep, like, really a creep. No sane person would ever do what you've done."

He opened his mouth to protest, but then closed it and nodded.

Harry sighed. "You are hot though, and for some reason, I want to date you."

Tom smiled, kissed Harry again, and said solemnly, "My next rap will be an ode to you."

For some reason, Harry's own grin became a bit strained, but he still replied, "Thank you, Tom. That sounds great."

From behind Tom, Malfoy (who would perhaps receive a lighter sentence for his defiance) called out, "Should I tell Slughorn that everything's fine? Or should we blackmail him?"

"Tell him that his Ronald McDonald is a dumbass but he's fine!" Harry responded, which caused Malfoy to frown, but he didn't say anything else.

Tom looked back at Malfoy and agreed, "Yes, go tell Slughorn that all is well."

With that, Tom and Harry walked to and sat at the bus stop bench. Harry leaned his head against Tom's shoulder, and they waited for their bus to come.