How Long is Forever [COMPLETED]

Just Long Enough

Surprisingly enough, you get over the fact that Chishiya said he doesn't love you quite easily. While he was nothing but honest to you, there is still room for hopes and dreams for whatever will come after the Borderlands. And only because he doesn't return your feelings the way you'd want him to, he still cares about you. Not that he'd openly admit that; you just know it the way he behaves around you. How he had pulled his arm around you to keep you safe from the cold wind. How he just held you until you fell asleep, while you still mourned for Tatta.

When you wake up in the middle of the night, you do so with a smile on your face. You can feel Chishiya's warmth right next to you, and at first you assume because of the deep and rhythmic moves of his chest that he is still asleep. But as soon as you have adjusted a bit to the darkness, you can see that his eyes are open, staring at the nothingness above your heads.

You raise your hand to brush his cheek, and he turns to you just so slightly, not even surprised that you're awake.

"What thoughts are busying your pretty head right now?" you whisper with a smile, and it is answered with a smirk as far as you can see.

"That you'll have to clean the toilet tomorrow."

Slightly taken aback, you simply stare at him for a moment. You have expected some deep or confusing thoughts, not something oddly specific like that. "Wh- why me?"

He chuckles, shifting a bit so he can face you better. "Well, it is almost filled to the brim, so it has to be emptied. And since you're the one using it most of the time, you should be the one cleaning it."

The way you grunt in complaint only seems to amuse him more. The good thing about a caravan is that it has a chemical toilet, which means that the liquid will decompose anything inside to a neutral blue mass. And while you still have enough of that blue liquid here, the caravan shop will for sure have more in case of an emergency. Now the bad thing is, that a chemical toilet still has to be emptied and - in the best case – cleaned with a water hose or something similar. Which you don't have, and you still have to figure out an alternative solution.

"Fine," you sigh, "I'll do it. But you can't tell me that this has been stuck inside your head all the time."

Chishiya shakes his head. "Of course not. But I felt you waking up, and I assumed you'd have to use the bathroom. Again."

"You assumed wrong," you return with a grin and place a peck on his cheek. "What is it then that keeps you from sleeping?"

It takes him a while to answer. You snuggle into his armpit, and he shifts once more to make it more comfortable for you. His fingers fiddle around with your hair, and you almost fall asleep again until he speaks up. "The real world. I wonder if it is really possible to return. How it will be."

Humming softly, you try to imagine what will happen. "Maybe... we will just wake up like we did in the Borderlands. As if waking up from a dream, only that this is more than a nightmare. And all of us probably will need lifelong therapy to cope with it."

"Yet even the worst nightmare wouldn't last that long – it has been months, after all. And it would be strange if hundreds of people suddenly had memories of a different world where they had to play games in order to survive."

You have long stopped believing that this is a dream. Chishiya is right: even the worst dreams would never last that long, nor would they feel so real. There's no doubt by now that death in the Borderlands is final for the real life too.

"It could be similar to those near-death-experiences people sometimes talk about. They share matching stories even though they have never met before."

"That would imply every one of us has been in such a near-death situation upon arriving in the Borderlands."

Trying to remember the last thing you have seen before opening your eyes in an empty Tokyo, this feels quite unlikely. Nothing you remember would justify such a condition, since all you have seen was a huge firework at a weird time of day. What you do know though is that this conversation slowly causes you a headache.

With a long sigh, you shut your eyes and just enjoy the closeness to Chishiya. "Let's not talk about this further. It makes me... uncomfortable."

Chishiya snorts, but his hand continues to twirl some strands of your hair. You're sure he does that because it helps him focus or something – that you enjoy it is nothing but a bonus. "You were the one asking in the first place."

"Yeah, I know," you mutter, "but we don't know how it will be in the end, so there's no use in thinking about it more unless I want the headache to turn into a migraine."

You don't have to see it to know that Chishiya smirks down at you, but you choose to ignore it. "All I want is to return with you, no matter how. So I can be with you forever."

"Forever is quite the long time."

And nothing is certain when it comes to the real world, you know that. Your future with Chishiya isn't written in stone yet, but right now, it is what you want most: to be at his side for the rest of your life.

"Just about long enough."

You feel how he already prepares to deadpan you with logical arguments, so you make sure to continue before he has the chance to. "The reason why I'm awake is because I came to a conclusion. I want to participate in a game tomorrow."

The movement of his fingers stops for a moment before he continues, slightly hesitant this time. "Why would that be?"

So far, you don't have to worry about your visa. But you don't want to spent more time than necessary in this place – it is comfortable and wonderful as long as Chishiya is there, and yet in the Borderlands there is no such thing as a "safe place". The Witch Hunt made sure to teach you that. And with the King of Spades moving freely around Tokyo and shooting people randomly, the day will come where you will face him too if you don't manage to leave earlier.

"There is no use if everyone waits for others to clear the games. I have to play myself so we can move forward."

Chishiya hums understanding, but doesn't say anything more. You already have a certain game in mind; something not too far away and with the highest chance of surviving even if you enter with multiple people.

"Will... will you come with me?"

His finger twirls your hair one last time before it stops completely. "We'll see about that."