Don't You Just Hate It When The Toaster Oven Tries To Kill You?

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"Come on! Lets go you two, all hands on deck!" Our father, Ron Witwicky, called from his place in the garage; the man trying his hardest to get Sam and I moved out as fast as possible. "Come on kiddo's, we're on a schedule!"

"Slow down, dad." Sam called, chasing after our father who currently was shoving one of Sam's boxes into his truck. "Why are you trying to get rid of us so quickly?"

"Yeah dad, seriously. what did you do, rent out both of our rooms?" I asked, sarcasm lacing my tone of voice.

"No," Our father deadpanned, throwing both Sam and I a small playful glare. "I got other ideas for your rooms, and they rhyme with 'Home Theatre' and 'Man Cave'."

My brother and I both rolled our eyes, expecting as much out of our dear old pops.

You see, Sam and I are now officially students of Princeton University, today being the day that we move into the freshmen dorms. And as you can see, it doesn't look like our parents will be missing us much. Well, at least our dad anyway.

I made my way into the kitchen, Sam not following far behind as we tried to collect the rest of our boxes, only to be stopped by our weeping mother.

"Mama?" I called softly, a worried tone taking place. The woman in question slowly turned to me, holding up two pairs of what looked like miniature shoes.

"Look what I found." She sniffed "It's your little baby booties."

"Ma..." Sam and I sighed, giving our mother a warm hug in an attempt to make her feel better and stop crying all over our stuff. "My little baby booty boys."

I turn to our dad, who had just walked into the kitchen. "y'know, this is how your supposed to react when the fruit of your loins goes out into the cruel world to fend for themselves." I mused.

"Yeah, my heart bleeds for ya pal." Our dad shot back, waving his hand in a dismissive manner. "College, Bummer!"

I was about to say something in retort when our mom pulled both Sam and I by the ear to face her. "You have to come home every holiday! Not just big ones, you have to come home for Halloween too!"

"Mom" I started, pulling away from her tight hold. "We can't come home for Halloween."

"Well than we'll come to you!"

Sam's eyes widened as he forced himself out of the large embrace our mother was trying to smother him in. "You are NOT coming."

"Oh come on Sam." I called "At least give her some hope of ever seeing you again."

"Oh for crying out loud would you just let the kids breathe Molly?" Our father interrupted. "Now come on, go pack. There is no way you're packed for a month long journey."

Our mom slowly pulled away from us, giving my brother and I small glances every two seconds as she stalled in leaving the room.

"Come on, chop chop! Lets go, march young lady!" Our father called, giving our mother a quick smack on the ass.

"Okay, dad, did not need to see that." Sam scowled.

"Augh!" I screamed, covering my eyes. "I need to go wash out my eye sockets with bleach after that show!"

"I love it when you call me young lady, you dirty old man." our mother called back, much to Sam and I's dismay.

"Seriously, guys stop!" both my brother and I shouted in sync.

"You ain't seen nothing yet."

"Okay!" I called. "I'm officially scarred for life!"

"Dad, dad." Sam said seriously. "That, that was a really creepy move you just pulled there."

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