Rulers of nothing. Protectors of everything

Untitled Part 4

"Stop doing that and let me out damn it" I screamed not turning around. I continued to try and pull the door open, if I had to would someone hear me out there if I continued to scream. He placed his other arm on the other side of the door and I knew I was not going to get it open unless he let me and I couldn't run because I was trapped between his arms as well as between the door and his body. When I stopped attacking the door he spoke.

"You said you loved me well this is who I am. This is me so either you do love me and are running away or you lied. Both answers seem to have you walking out this door. And if you didn't lie and you can walk out this door think about what that would really be accomplishing. You will be destroying me and you will forever know that you were a coward in the one moment every person has once to prove that they can be stronger then before. This is that moment. Please be strong enough because I'm not strong enough for you to not be."

"

"So its not the question of do you love me but can you love me. If you can't, I get it I truly do but I need to know that you won't tell let this secret go. I know this isn't fair and this isn't what you had in mind. But planned or not this is where we are. I have to ask this of you. I need you to act like your life depends on it as mine surely does. I know I lied to you but I still have the right to walk away with my life."

"You don't have to fear for me"

"What about my fear of you" I let out before thinking. I'd given my love away to someone I didn't really know and whose entire life involved secrets and things I could never understand. We all want and dream of that dangerous love the be all in our lives but not many people truly get it. Here it was right in front of me but I just didn't know if I wanted it. Plus I bet that not everyone has such heavy strings attached either. But I was in it now I was dragged in and now I wasn't leaving. As much as having him scared me I just could not bring myself to let him go/to want to let him go. I didn't think I ever would and that scared me more then he ever could.

My hand quivered slightly as I reached up and out to touch the side of his face. He froze for a second before allowing me to continue but as my hand connected with him, he seemed to melt as he leaned it into my palm. I realized how naked he must feel even under all he was. To show he was not human, to tell me he would never be the same as me, that he was truly alone in the world and to let me see it. I could feel the fear radiating from his body and pouring out of his eyes like water. I realized that I could never see life as he did, as a stranger who didn't really fit onto the puzzle of the world. It was so different for him. As a human I just assumed I belonged here, to this earth and this body. I rested my forehead against his and just closed my eyes drinking in the knowledge he had given me that few in this world will ever process.

"I know you." I whispered. I could physically feel his muscles tense and I sensed him slowly trying to pull and turn away. I locked my arm around his neck to let him know he had to stay. He had to see this though because we needed to.

"I know you." The words flowed out of my mouth with more meaning then anything I had ever said before. I realized I could give him this. I could give him what he was asking of me. Is it not what we all need and want in this life? For someone to know us down to the last inner reach of our tattered battle scared souls. Before I even realized he was human again and his lips were crushing against mine with such emotion, as I had never felt before. Things were different this time, so exponentially different. He could for the first time kiss me as himself not as the person he had to pretend to be. I now knew his darkest secret. I knew him. I could kiss him. A few tears escaped down my cheeks only to be caught by his hands smoothing them away from my face. He genteelly raised my head forcing me to look at him. He looked at me with power and there was such a grace in the vulnerability of it all. My body trembled as I grabbed fists full of his shirt and brought his lips back down to meet mine. It felt like I was coming home after a long absence and I could have stayed there forever. I always thought safe would be a place. I never thought my safe place would be him. I just wanted to be immersed in him, in every corner of his world, to know every inch of his body, to be fused to his life, to bond our fates together. I slowly lifted my shirt up and off as he did the same. Leaning him back to the ground I returned to melting his lips to mine. Rolling us over he placed me genteelly down and ran his fingers threw my hair easing it away from my face.