I.M.Y

Tombstones

        Soft footsteps stop in front of a door. They press their ear against the oak wood. Uneven breathing is heard from the other side. It subsides slowly and turns into wrenched sobs. Gasps escape the person. The mother slowly creaks the door open, her eyes full of sadness. On the floor sits her daughter, used tissues surround her. 

  Her hair lies limp, unlike it's usual bouncy appearance. Deep bags are under her glassy red orbs. She stares at her mother, a blank expression on her face. The poker face she has cracks. Her dry lips begin to tremble, tears filling up her dull eyes.

"I miss her." Her daughter chokes. " Please, Mom," She grasp her Mom's fingers from her position on the floor. They're ice cold. 

The mother is transported back to when her daughter was a sphere of happiness. Her smile rivaled the sun. Anything made her laugh, A day didn't go by without hearing her tinkling laughter. Seeing what she was reduced to, was like a knife twisted in the mother's heart. It had been a year and she was still 'recovering'.

Leaning down, she gathered her daughter in her arms. Stepping over the many snot filled napkins and dirty clothes thrown everywhere, she walked over to the armchair in the corner of the room. She sat down and held her daughter on her lap. Rocking her gently, the sobbing began again.

" I- I- I-........ " She cries. Her fingers gripping her mother's arms. Not caring she wasn't acting her age. The pain too was too much. Her other half was ripped from her. There wasn't a reason to live if she didn't exist. How she held on for a year was unfathomable to her. The days that used to be filled with smiles and excitement, were now spent staring out the window longing to join her.

Her mother petted her hair, unspoken words in her touch. Telling her she'd be here for her.

Whimpering, she glanced up. Eyes filled with grief, a shell of her former self.

"Will it ever stop hurting?" She mumbled. How many times did she try to join Grandma, every single time stopped by those around her. She didn't understand, why couldn't they let her go the way they let her precious Nan go? The world was so cruel, erasing the purest human on it's surface. Burying her 6 feet under, never to see the sun shine again.

Her mother took a deep breath, thinking about the question. It was a hundred times harder for her child, her grandmother and daughter were two peas in a pod. Inseparable. The pain had numbed for her awhile ago. It hurt when she thought of her mother, but she was at peace now. Sadly, her death had hit her daughter hard. She barely ate, never left her room if it wasn't for school or the bathroom, and refused to come with her to visit Nan's grave.

"I believe Nan wouldn't want you to suffer like this. She would be devastated at how you are. You can be sad, you can cry, but don't become a skeleton. Therapy is always open, you can talk to me about your feelings. Just please, I'm begging you, don't close yourself off." Her mother stroked her thin hair. Pure sincerity shown on her face. It pained her to see her child like this. "Useless," she thought. She was unable to soothe her heart.

Unbeknownst to her mother, those words affected her. It was like a veil was pulled out of her eyes. She noticed how her mother looked as if she didn't take care of herself. Looking just as bad as her. While she was drowning herself in sorrow, her mother dropped everything to care for her. She thought Nan's death hollowed just her, not realizing it dealt a blow to her mother.

Hesitantly grasping her mother's hand, she nodded her head. 

" It's-.....going to be okay?" She asked, her tone full of uncertainty. Her mother smiled tenderly and patted her hand.  "I won't tell you the pain will ever go away, but you'll find a reason to be happy, that I promise you." Her daughter unfurled her curled legs, moving to sit on the arm of the chair.

"Mom, you'll be here for it right? When I'm a broken, screaming mess. When I can't find my voice. When it's as if I don't deserve to live."

 "Honey, I'm not going anywhere, I'l be here for it all. Take your time there's no rush, and when you're ready to see her, I'll take you." Her mother promised. Sticking out her pink, for a moment it was like a old times.

Her daughter  brought her pink closer to her mom's, sealing their deal.