Dream

chapter 1

here we go again, hope you guys enjoy this story like you did last one🤍

People think depression is sadness. People think that depression is crying. they think that is dressing in black.

But people are wrong. Depression is a constant feeling of being numb. Being numb to emotion. Being numb to lie. You wake up in the morning just to go back to bed. Days aren't really days; they are just obstacles just to be faced. And how do you face them?

Through medication, through drinking, through smoking, through cutting...
The thing is when you are depressed, you grasp on anything that can get you through the day.

That's what depression is, it's not sadness or tears. It's the overwhelming sense of numbness and desire for anything that can help you make it from one day to another.

this weekend my mom is getting re-married, guy she is marrying is nice and sweet but he will never replace my dad. He died in a car accident when I was 10, I'm 18 now but me and my dad were really close.

He was my hero, I always looked up to him so losing him at such a young age I didn't take well. I learned how to control my emotions but after some time they disappeared and now I'm numb.

there I am sitting in my bedroom looking out the window day dreaming about love and soulmates. ever since I was little girl I always dreamed about finding the love of my life and getting married and having that magical wedding wearing the biggest dress and walking down the aisle with my dad right besides me.

Having two beautiful children with that person and having that perfect life they talk about in fairy tales. after my dad's death all my dreams were ruined, its not his fault just he was a big part of those dreams as well, I wanted to watch my children play with their grandfather.

My thoughts were interrupted by my bedroom door opening
mom-"hey sweetheart"
y/n-"hi mom"
mom-"how are you feeling today?"
I had unsuccessful suicide attempt last night and my mom is really worried about me
y/n-"I'm a little better" I give her a forced smile just to make her feel better "do you want to go to school today?" my mom is really understanding and she doesn't want to push me do stuff that I'm not physically or mentally ready for

"it's ok I can go to school"
mom-"do you have time for breakfast?"
y/n-"nope I have to hurry up"
mom-"ok, love you honey"
and with that she left my room, i ran to my closet put on a hoddie and sweatpants to hide my scars. I went to bathroom brushed my hair and teeth and went to school