1- Sucked Ur Mother Off

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"What do you mean?" Post Malone yells from across the dinner table.

It was meant to be steak and salad for dinner tonight but Lord Farquaad isn't necessarily known for his culinary skills. Instead they settled on instant noodles.

"It's going no where! I just don't think we can keep this ship afloat for much longer," Lord Farquaad retorts.

He's right. Neither of them are happy. The relationship has been going strong for a few years now but it's all beginning to crumble. They've simply fallen out of love.

"You know we can't keep doing this, it's just going to end badly," a mere whisper escapes Lord Farquaad's lips.

These few words shatter Post Malone's soul into a million shards. How would he be the man he used to be without Lord Farquaad?

Post Malone breaks down into a fit of sobs knowing deep down nothing can fix it now. It's over and nothing can change it. Fate has led them this far, sparing no room for any further hardships.

Lord Farquaad shakily stands to his feet and makes his way to their bedroom. The mahogany bedframe sits in the middle of the room, with an ugly zebra print blanket atop that Post can't seem to get rid of.

In a fit of rage, Lord Farquaad strips the bed of it's stupid cover and throws it into a heap in the corner of the room. He can still hear Post Malone sobbing from the dining room even with the door closed, which ignites a fire deep within him he never knew he had.

He storms back out into the open space to see Post hasn't moved at all. In a state of aggression Lord Farquaad sends his chair hurdling away from the main area of the room. This causes Post Malone to let out a scared shrill. Lord Farquaad proceeds to pick up his unfinished dinner and throws it aggressively above Post Malone's head.

"Stop this! You always act impulsively when you're upset, this isn't the real you!" Still in a state of shock and sadness Post Malone barely gets the words out of his mouth.

"Maybe I wouldn't be so fucking mad if you stopped your crying and accepted the truth! No matter how many times you try to fix it, you can't. We can't, we're just not meant to be," Lord Farquaad's sentence ends as a light whisper.

Even saying these words is enough to bring harsh realities forward. It can't end, can it? Post Malone's one beacon of light leaves in an instance. It's his own foolish fault though. His actions alone caused all this strife.

"I-I'm not ready for it to end though. I finally f-found happiness thanks to you. I don't want to let it all go because of a few silly fights here and there," he stutters.

"We can't keep doing this though, it's all too much for such little, little time. I want to keep trying to but-" he gets cut off.

"Then why don't we? It can't be hard to rebuild from what we already had. Just one more chance, please Lord Farquaad. Have faith in us, have faith in me." He's practically begging at this point.

Lord Farquaad knows he can't take this opportunity. They need a lot more than just another chance. He's sick of the constant bickering, lack of trust and many other aspects of their relationship. This isn't healthy for either of them. He loves him but sometimes it's better to let go before it's too late.

"I can't be the one to stop you from finding happiness,"

"I am happy! You helped me find it!"

"This can't keep going on, we've been in this situation too many times!"

This makes Post Malone silent. It's true, this is all true. He's just trying to hold onto anything he's got left which as of right now isn't much. Another wave of sobs wrack his body as Lord Farquaad blatantly watches.

"I hope it was worth it while it l-lasted," he manages to piece together.

"Every second of it baby," Lord Farquaad replies. He means it. His time with Post Malone was unforgettable, but eternity still wouldn't be enough time.  All the good memories he'll carry with him are constant reminders of what he has - well had.

"If only we could turn back time." Post chuckles coldly, trying to lighten the mood even the slightest.

"Can you promise me one thing before you go?" Post squeaks.

"Anything," Lord Farquaad is quick to reply.

"Baby, let me love you goodbye."

Snapped Thread [Post Malone × Lord Farquaad]Where stories live. Discover now