You made me who I am | Sequel (Corpsekkuno)

Out in the open

Editor's note:
Sorry guys, I know I've been gone for a loooong ass time, I've been very busy with school and have been going through some stuff lately :/ I can't really promise you more frequent updates, but I'll try my best :)
Now onto the story:

A few days later, the moment was finally here. Sykkuno sat down in the comfy black chair, fixing his hair. He adjusted the camera, so that it would only be on him. To his right sat his boyfriend, hidden out of frame, tucked into a big hoodie, biting his nails.
"You'll chip your nailpolish love" Sykkuno said in a soothing tone, realizing how nervous Corpse was.
They had prepared this for a while, planned almost every word, scripted the whole thing. It made it a bit unnatural, but it was needed to reassure his boyfriend.

A few days earlier:
"Okay, so how do we start the explanation?"
Corpse mumbled nervously, sitting in front of the screen, feeling the light burn into his eyes. He hadn't slept properly the last two nights, stressing about the Internet knowing about them. Being aware, that most of his fans would support them, it was still scary to think that a lot of them wouldn't. Sadly, there were still homophobes that would leave hateful comments.

Gripping his hair in fists, he looked at his boyfriend with a worried expression.
„Do you think it's maybe a bit early to do this?" Sykkuno asked quietly, sensing that this was making Corpse extremely uncomfortable.
Yes. was what Corpse really wanted to say. His mind forced him to utter the words "No, it's fine". Why? Because he loved Sykkuno.

Maybe it was dumb, but Corpse loved Sykkuno so much, that he would do anything for him. His confident self wanted to shout from the rooftops that Sykkuno was his boyfriend, but his insecure self wanted to curl up into a ball and die. Because Sykkuno would never let option two happen, it was best to just try to get through this.

Gritting his teeth, he startet pressing down the keys on the keyboard. The words came together on the screen, forming the text that they would say on camera. Sykkuno scanned with his eyes what Corpse was writing, taking everything in.

Immediately, Sykkuno's eyes started watering. Now gripping his lovers arm, he starts drawing circles on it. He doesn't know why he does this, to calm himself down or Corpse.

Corpse turned to Sykkuno when he finished writing, asking: "What do you think?"
A single tear was streaming down Sykkunos face, as he let out in a shaky voice: "I love you"

Today:
Corpse puffed out a shaky breath, before making sure that the sound was on and that the camera was working.

He sat himself down at a safe distance beside Sykkuno, there was no way in hell that this would also turn into his face reveal.
Sykkuno squeezed his hand one last time, before pressing play on the camera.
He took a deep breath and started the "speech".

"Hi guys, it's Sykkuno here. I'm actually not alone, because I have a very special guest here." This was the cue for Corpse to hold his hand into frame, but he seemed to be frozen in place. Sykkuno gave him a reassuring look and finally Corpse broke free from his trance.
He held his hand into the frame and waved awkwardly, all the while saying in his raspy voice: "Hey guys, it's me." It's me, really?? That's the best you can do?? he thought to himself.

Sykkuno carried on with the intro of the video, explaining that he and Corpse had met and how they got on well together really quickly. The text beside the camera showed him what he had to say.
"...but what this video really is about is what we'll tell you now."
It was now Corpse's turn to talk.

He wanted the earth to split open and to disappear forever. He couldn't do this. Corpse felt like he physically couldn't open his mouth, he wanted to shout but not even that was working. It was like his brain stopped doing its job and time had frozen. Sykkuno saw the dispair in Corpse's face and quickly went to sqeeze his hand again. "You can do it" he whispered.

His voice was shaky, but he would manage. "The reason Sykkuno and I are doing this video, is because we have something important to tell you guys. In one of my latest streams, a lot of people noticed that I was talking to someone because I forgot to mute myself. That was Sykkuno. He has been living here because... Sykkuno and I are dating."
Taking a breath, he paused shortly.

"When Sykkuno and I met, I knew instantly that we would get along. I liked him from the first second that I saw him, to be honest. At first I didn't know that I had feelings for him, but after meeting a few times it dawned on me. I know that I've always told you guys that I'm straight, obviously that isn't true, I just didn't know that before either. Sykkuno and I fell in love, he has become such a big part of my life, I wouldn't know what to do without him..."

While Corpse was speaking off camera, Sykkuno was smiling at him widely, with tears in his eyes yet again. He couldn't believe this was finally happening. There was a warmth spreading in his chest, a feeling of proudness, a feeling of belonging. He was incredibly impressed by how well Corpse was handling this up to now. Sykkuno had to
be in some kind of trance, because he didn't even notice that Corpse had stopped speaking.

Corpse had just finished his part of the speech, or so it seemed, because he was deadsilent and staring at Sykkuno. Sykkuno looked down at his boyfriends hands, only to be faced with the fact that Corpse was ripping up his skin above his nails. His cuticles were bleeding by now, which was certainly causing Corpse pain, but he didn't seem to notice.

With fast steps Sykkuno was at the camera and stopped the recording. He then returned to his boyfriend, taking his hands into his own. "What is it love?" Sykkuno asked him quietly, although he already knew the answer.

Corpse's breathing was faltering, like he was choking on his own air. "I- I j..just- I can't d-do i-t..." He tried to catch a breath but to him it felt like the walls were coming down right now.
In his panic, he tried to signal to Sykkuno that he couldn't breathe properly.

Sykkuno knew instantly what to do, sadly, these panic attacks weren't completely unusual for Corpse and he had been instructed about what he should do. He pulled up Corpse by his arms and stripped of his shirt, all the while taking him into the direction of the bathtub.

He turned the water on ice cold, he didn't know why this method worked, all he knew is that it calmed Corpse down and seemed to get him out of his panicked state.
Sykkuno slowly helped Corpse into the water.
"Deep breath baby, deep breath..." he wispered reassuringly. For a split second a thought crossed his mind and he had to bite his toungue to keep himself from laughing:
This sounds like he's about to give birth...

His breathing was getting steadier by the second, Corpse slowly turned his head to Sykkuno and let out in a defeated tone: "I d-don't if i'm r-ready to t-tell everyone yet..."
To calm him down, Sykkuno drew big circles on Corpse's back and hummed quietly.
"A-are y-you mad?" Corpse spoke again.
"Of course not love, we'll tell them when you're ready, okay?" Sykkuno said and gave him a warm, long kiss.

Editor's note:
I know this is kinda shitty, i'm sorry 😃 I guess i'm kinda rusty lmao
I'll try to get out another chapter soon!