𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐤 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧

01

Dazai hummed to himself walking in tbe dark street after trying a new suicide method that did not work.

He sighed and looked at the street name- frozing when he realizes just how far the river had took him.

His apartment was in the other side of the city, Dazai sighed. He pulled out his phone, thinking what to do.

Than he remembered- Chuuya's apartment was near by! Dazai grinned to himself and called 'snail' as he was saved on his phone.

He didnt answer so Dazai tried again and again and again until he decided he doesn't have to call before coming over.

Dazai hummed his suicide song, walking down the street to one of the tall buildings, where Chuuya's apartment was.

He remembered the time he tried jumping out of Chuuya's bedroom window when be was still in the port mafia, but the ginger stopped him before he could.

He smiled a little on the old memory.
He took the stairs to the top floor where Chuuya's apartment was, big mistake.

He was panting like crazy after walking up the stairs for 69 floors, pushing the door to the last floor so he could finally finally crash on Chuuya's couch.

Dazai took the spare key that was under the dried rose vase on the small shelf, as always. He pushed the key in the door and twisted it, hearing the click meaning the door was unlocked.

He placed the key back under the vase and opened the door, the smell of red wine and alcohol quickly reaching his nose.

He took off his shoes and coat walking torward the living room, seeing the port mafia executive on the floor, a bottle of wine in hand and one more shattered on the floor.

He watched as Chuuya picked the wine bottle and drank every last bit of it before throwing it on the wall, making it break.

Chuuya's eyes were red and his cheeks were wet, his small nose dark red as he sniffled and his clothing a mess, he probably gave up half way through taking them off.

Dazai knew how much Chuuya loves his wine collection, he's been collecting them for years. Ever since Dazai gave him a bottle for his birthday.

So for him, to empty out two bottles and break the fragile glass on the wall, something must be going on.

Dazai sighed and walked to Chuuya- who has yet to notice him- and tried putting Chuuya's hand over his shoulder so he could go to his bed.

To Dazai's surprise Chuuya slapped his hand away "dont touch me Dazai!" Chuuya yelled at him. Dazai was surprised

Chuuya never called him Dazai.

Chuuya sniffled and got up, wobbling but slapping Dazai's hand every time he tried helping him. Chuuya took another bottle of wine

"I dont think you should drink that much-" Dazai started but Chuuya cut him off "You have no right to tell me what to do after you left me!" Chuuya glared at him, opening the bottle and drinking straight from it.

"Chuuya.. whats wrong with you today? What problems are you drinking away?" Dazai stepped closer and took the bottle away from the ginger, putting it up high.

Chuuya tried reaching for the bottle, getting on his tippy toes and climbing ontop of Dazai as best as he could.

Usually, Dazai would be amused by how desperate Chuuya is to get back the wine bottle. But this time, he wasnt.

Not at all.

"Chuuya stop, you cant escape your problems. Tell me whats wrong, talk to me" Dazai was genuinely concerned for the smaller boy.

Chuuya gritted his teeth "you! You are Dazai!" Tears started collecting in his eyes as he jumped on Dazai, tackling him to the floor.

The bottle fall from Dazai's hold but neither of the males were focused on it. Dazai fall backwards, Chuuya ontop of him.

"You! You! You! You suicidal maniac! You!" Chuuya punched Dazai's chest but it didnt hurt Dazai at all. He was shocked at the Chuuya's actions.

Chuuya sniffled and started crying "you! Leaving the port mafia for four years..! Leaving me.. you didnt even say goodbye Dazai! You didnt call you didnt sent letters! You left me alone Dazai!

After you were gone I was Usless to them.. they tied me in a freaking basement.. they thought I helped you escape. It was like this for two years! Until I proved I was still useful! And than you showed up, acting like everything is okay. Acting like you didnt just left me alone!

You promised!! You promised you'll never leave me alone! You promised You'd stay by my side! You said I was important to you! You said you trusted me yet, you left. Without a single word without a single smile..

Where is the love you were talking about huh..? You always told me you love me.. was all of this meaningless..? Was it all a joke to you..?

I trusted you! I loved you Dazai! I told you everything! I helped you warp up your wrists I took literal bullets for you!! We.. I.. I promised you that I'll do double suicide with you when I'll be 18.. you promised you'll jump with me."

Chuuya got off Dazai, sobbing. Finally letting everything out. Everything that was bottled up for years.

"What happened to our plans..why did you lie to me...why did you use me..?" he whispered.

"Was I not good enough for you too?!" He screamed, falling on his knees and starting to cry harder.

He was tired, exhausted. The alcohol was deep in his system and it didnt help him feel light at all this time, not like Usually.

His heart fall the heaviest it did in his whole life.

Dazai couldn't move.

He stared up at the ceiling, listening to Chuuya's cries.

He never realized how much he hurt him.

He never realized how much Chuuya had to go through.

Dazai closed his eyes, more than ever wanting death to take him.

"I'm so sorry, Chuuya.. forgive me.." he whispered, sitting up and looking at the redhead.

He pulled him into a hug "I never realized how much it hurt you.. I never realized how selfish I was.. I'm sorry." Dazai whispered.

The ginger sobbed into his neck harder. Wet warm tears soaked into the bandages around Dazai's neck.

Dazai made sure Chuuya was the closest he could to him. He stroked his hair, whispering soft words to his ear

Chuuya slowly drifted to sleep in Dazai's arms and in that moment, Dazai made a decision-

He'll never leave him alone.

Not again, not forever.