You {I'm alone without you}

Spark of hope

The days were usually cold, pupils rubbed their freezing hands and blew them with their warm breaths, some embraced each other, seeking warmth within from the next. The cold never stopped the chattering of my class though. Groups of two or more students were simultaneously talking, laughing, crying, and enjoying themselves. They all depend on that one person they call 'a friend' to keep them visible to everyone else. Without someone to talk to, who would give a damn about what you do? What's on your mind? whether you want to join the chat or not? I was that particular student ... that invisible lonely student.

I would sit by myself every single day, I'd act like I was reading a novel or was focused on my studies whilst people around me exchanged sentences and laughs. It was bad enough that I wasn't visible to people, what made it worse was that my conversation skills were awkward. When being asked to reply or to say something, I would stutter and mess up my wording, it always had a toll on my depleting confidence. Because of this, I usually resided and entertained myself inside my head. I'd sometimes tell myself that being an introvert was a blessing and all the others did was speak nonsense, ...but secretly, I craved to be apart of that nonsense.

One day, a classmate of mine asked if I wanted to talk, she was one of those people who I never thought would give me a look. She had friends, always had a person to talk to, liked by everyone, and was an extreme extrovert, and out of everyone in the classroom, she wanted to talk with me.

I instantly refused kindly and told her I was busy, even though having nothing on my desk that indicated so. I said this with a serious face and usually my classmates would leave me alone after that, but she didn't. She took a nearby chair and sat beside me, I asked her what was she doing and she replied, "making a friend".
Some would see this offensive because that person is acknowledging that your lonely and would feel pity, I didn't, I saw an escape. She asked a lot of questions; my interests, hobbies, and thoughts on this and that. She didn't care about my stutter, also the fact that I kept fidgeting in my chair. She persisted and I got comfortable with her, it was ...amazing. I felt wanted, like... I had a purpose other than to sit alone and be silent.

She always kept this huge grin on her face, it slowly grows into you and provides your heart with warmth. After that encounter, I knew I had a crush on her. I guess I was always in a vulnerable state, even the slightest kind thing you did for me would grant you the keys to my heart.

Nothing had changed though, I was still that quiet and lonely boy, but a little spark of hope burned brightly inside me.