INEVITABLE | JEGULUS

one

   The Hogwarts Great Hall bustled with chatter the first day back after winter break. But unlike other years, laughs were weirdly absent from the atmosphere and sickening chills vibrated through the air as students tried to eat the slowly cooling food off the wooden tables. The house flags could still be seen swaying at the top of the room though as the ceiling itself was charmed as the same night sky as outside.

   And Regulus Black was in no better of a state.

   The fifth year had his head in his hands at the end of the Slytherin table with his elbows propped up, his plate never having food on it because if he ate, he was afraid he would just throw it back up on himself—the cause being the mood of the Great Hall along with his haunting thoughts.

    The thoughts of last July.

   The night his older brother, Sirius, left their home at Grimmauld place with plans to never come back. In other words, he left Regulus.

    The topic had crossed his mind after seeing Sirius on the train platform and hasn't left it.

   For as long as Regulus can remember, Sirius had been rebellious. Even at the mere age of five, the boy had talked back to his mother at a family dinner. Of course, he was punished, but Sirius was a either insanely brave or insanely stupid because it didn't falter his skip one bit—it did the opposite. After that day, he got more and more out of line. From small pranks and running in the halls, to then being sorted into Gryffindor during his first year—Sirius was everything his parents didn't want him to be.

   So, Walburga Black took action. She punished him for stuff he did. First it was cut meals, but those small meals turned into being grounded during the summer, grounded turned into slaps, and slaps finally turned into magic. Dark magic.

Regulus knew this all happened, but he was a coward and never stood up for his brother, it was one of the few things he will fully admit to doing, but not proudly.

   From cutting curses to invisible punches, his mother found amusement in torchuring her oldest son. Even though she used many other comparable spells, Walburga wasn't willing to use the Cruciatus curse on her son for his actions in fear of the Ministry getting too envolved—but Orion was. When Sirius came home over the summer of Regulus's fourth year, their father used it. And it wasn't the last time.

   Orion used it on many other occasions for Sirius misbehaving but the longest time it was used was when Sirius came back to their house over the summer the previous year, which finally put the boy off the edge to run away.

    And Regulus knew this, he knew it was his parents fault for pushing his brother away, for hurting his brother till he cracked. But the selfish part of him let himself hold a small grudge to Sirius till this day.

Angry at Sirius for not thinking about what their parents would do to Regulus after he left. Not caring about how it effected the younger boy mentally, and physically. Angry for leaving him behind, and for not saying goodbye.

   But the non-selfish part of Regulus was happy for Sirius, or as happy as he could be for him. Glad that Sirius was able to leave Grimmauld Place, almost admired him for it. Because he managed to escape—something Regulus had never attempted himself.

And under all the grudge, and all the contradicting support, there was hurt.

Because Regulus couldn't even remember the last time he talked to Sirius, the brother he used to laugh with, play games with, and look up to. The person whom no longer considers him family.

    Regulus knew he was to blame for some of the distance between him and his brother but couldn't find himself to cave, no matter how much it hurt when Sirius didn't bother to glance at him.