Things That Need to be Said Regarding the DU Community

In Regards to Unpredictable_Day x Unstable_Day,

Oh
My
Fucking god.

This shit haunts me. It keeps me awake at night.
Whenever I think I'm having a good day, this thing is lurking in the corner, just fucking looming there, reminding me of the cesspool that is the DU fanbase. 
This ship ails me. 

It's stupid, to say the least. 

Like I get it, enemies to lovers, but Unstable and Unpredictable are just not a good pairing.  They are meant to fight.  Even their assigned colors, Blue and Orange, are opposites on the colorwheel, further solidifying their very unloving relationship with eachother. 

Unpredictable abandoned Unstable, basically.  Like, if anything says "I fucking hate your guts" the most, it's literally leaving someone to die in order to save your own ass.  Which, news flash, Unpredi did to Unstable. 

Why would you ship someone with the same person who left them for dead??

Unpredictable let Unstable drown and die, it was never a set-up for a cute "yaoi tsundere gay baby bean boys enemies to lovers" type love-story. 
These are fucking war machines who live in a world ravaged by death and a virus which eats you alive, not a fucking sparkle-twinkle-love-is-in-the-air-rainbows-everywhere-happy-smiles-on-every-face-sunshine daycare. 

Which is why it pisses me off so much when I see so many goddamn fanfics about these two.  Its not even funny anymore man, its almost as eye-bleeding as the god forsaken Grape_Day joke. 

If I see another person go "oh em gee unstable x unpredi ." SO HELP ME GOD i am going to lock them into the box and KICK THEM DOWN A RIVER !!!!
I WOULD RATHER SWALLOW EACH TIRE OF A SEMI-TRUCK WHOLE THAN READ ANOTHER FUCKING FANFIC ABOUT THOSE TWO FEROCIOUSLY MAKING OUT EVERY 3 SECONDS.

And despite how distasteful of a ship it is, its so fucking popular for some ungodly reason.
You little wattpad kids really love your reanimated corpse war machine men with a genuinely horrible and ugly fucking relationship, dont you?

I know the majority of the people who write shit like this are probably like 12, which explains the lack of logic.

But, I've read about two Unpredi x Unstable fanfics that were obviously written by someone of an older age, as the writing was actually good. 
Which disappoints me because clearly the authors were smart enough to make the connection of "oh toxic relationship bad", and yet still fell to the tyrant king that is the Enemies to Lovers trope. 

If you're going to adhere to that overdone trope, at least do so with characters who it would make sense with,
Not two operatives who genuinely hate eachother due to the decision of one to leave the other to die.

Or, better yet, dont ship operatives at all.

Like, taking a step away from the serious implications this ship has -
These are literal lego men, based in a game that destroys your computer whenever you try to play it. 
You guys are prone to going fucking batshit over the idea of two lego men touching lips. 

Mf put down your phone.  Go outside, feel the trees, talk with your family, they miss you. 

There will be times when I think the human race cannot stoop any lower, but then I remember that there are seriously people out there who'll happily spend their days furiously typing up a thousand word fanfic all about how these two spooky block men fall in love and then get it on with eachother.   

If you find entertainment value out of Unpredi x Unstable, DNI.
I do not understand you, and honestly, I never want to. 

End of story.