Hoodies and Night Skies (Camren)

Hoodies and Night Skies - The Letter

Lauren,

If you're reading this, it means I finally have the courage to send this letter to you, or maybe my parents or Dinah found it and gave it to you.

Lo, I'm sorry for breaking your heart. I'm sorry for leaving you when we promised that we would grow old together. Like I said, the world is indeed unfair. How I wished to walk down the aisle and see you waiting for me, or maybe wait for you as you walk down the aisle towards me. How I wished to argue with you about our kids names, How I want to flex it around the world that I'm wearing your last name. I had so many wishes and dreams for us baby, but apparently I have to return this borrowed life of mine, because someone might need it more.

Lauren, I want you to know that I broke up with you, maybe for selfish reasons. You know, that night at the park? I was contemplating whether to propose to you, or not. But I thought..."If I were to propose to Lauren and get married before I die? Isn't that unfair because I'll leave her?" So I decided not to. Because I don't want you to live the anxiety of knowing I'll die, but not knowing when and where. I don't want to wake up and see your face everyday, knowing anytime it could be the last time I see your beautiful face, hear your beautiful voice, or maybe watch the last beautiful sky with you. It's enough for me to at least die, wearing my favorite stolen hoodie from you. Because I know, If I see you beside me right before I die, I would curse the whole world for not giving me enough time to grow old with you.

I don't know where you are, or how are you right now but I hope you're fine. Find a beautiful husband, or wife. Get married, have kids, live the life we once wanted to live. I want you to be happy, because you deserve all the happiness in the world. If incase you don't find happiness on all those things, then find your happiness because I myself will haunt you if I find out you're unhappy. Got it Jauregui? So you better be happy! Despite being scared of ghosts, and well with the probability of me getting scared of myself is high, I'll overcome that fear just to haunt you. I'm very dedicated Lauren, and you know that very well.

You will always be in my heart Lo. I want to thank you for making my limited time on earth with you. If I am given another chance to relive the life I was given, I won't change a thing. I'd definitely live the rest of my days loving you, my family, and our friends. I'd spend the rest of my very limited life making sure you're mine once again. Maybe when this letter finds you, you've already moved on. But I just want you to know that, I fulfilled one of our promises. And that is...

That you're the only person I'll love, and will ever love until the rest of my life.

Wherever you are, know that I'm always smiling down on you, guiding and guarding you. Until our next meeting,

I love you so much My Lauren Michelle Jauregui Morgado.

Loving and missing you,
Your Angel, Camila.

"I do hope you're smiling down on me my angel."