ℜ𝔢𝔮𝔲𝔦𝔢𝔪 𝔬𝔣 𝔖𝔦𝔩𝔢𝔫𝔠𝔢 | Tpn (Ray x reader)

Chapter 2 : The Cold Evergreen

I processed the boy's statements and questions before narrowing my eyes in desbelief and asking, "Hm.. and what would've you done in my place?" My face didn't express a thing, which didn't surprise him, he was already used to it.

After some seconds he looked seriously at me and without moving his stare from my (E/C) eyes, his answer was finally proclaimed. "The same" It was short and monotone, but I had sensed such a strong, sympathetic aura wrapped around those words , that I didn't fire back at him.

Nothing could be done anymore. They were probably shaking in terror at this very moment, if Mother didn't find them first, that is.

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My (H/C) locks waved in the wind like the autumn leaves around me.

A fresh breeze reached under my skirt and brought me back to my senses while I was reading.

I looked up and saw the tree branches gently waving along the wind in response to my sudden stare.

I tightly closed my eyes, distant memories flowing into my subconcious mind and making me not want to wake up ever again.

Death, what a curious thing it was. In the blink of an eye, a joyful, smiling being could turn into a lifeless, empty corpse. Afraid. That's what most felt like towards death. Afraid... Of feeling pain? Of being alone? Of losing loved ones? No. Afraid of not knowing what to expect from it. What to feel, what to do afterwards. Afraid of the unkown. That's what most are afraid of.

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I was about to resume my trip to my room, when right after I broke eye contact with the dark haired, a tight grip caught my wrist, stopping me in my tracks, once again. I looked back up, unamused, with a dark stare.

"Act surprised" he spit out. After some seconds, he clarified his request; "Whenever they tell you about it, act surprised" I wanted to counterattack but he stopped me. "We don't know how they'll react to our situation, or if they'll be able to hide our secret. And I don't think you'd like Mother to know if more children found out, despite your deathwish, you don't like brutal ends"

I was surprised about how he knew about my thoughts, but he was right. Blood didn't bother me at all. Nor did pain, but I'd rather have a silent and peaceful death, where only the wind and your thoughts are heard. No noise. Somewhere where noise can't reach. So I had to go along and act.

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Act..... I was no stranger to that word. I, after all, had been acting my whole life like a lost lamb in this twisted farm. I felt my insides rot, whenever I thought about never leaving this nightmare.
I wanted to wake up. To wake up and to fill my void. The void that consumed me little by little. I could almost feel how my soul got sucked by the emptiness within me.
Lifeless. That's how I felt. But, for some reason, whenever I tried to end it all, I felt as if there was something wrong. Something I couldn't get ahold of... I needed to find out what it was. What was I longing for? I needed to know so I could rest in full peace.