That Feeling.

Tired.

My mind is filled with thoughts, endless possibilities of every little thing I ever did or that ever happened to me I can't help it, I can't stop, I can't stop thinking I am tired, these endless train of thoughts. I am tired of how I can't seem to stop caring about something so stupid that could have gone unnoticed by anyone but I had to bring it up because if I did not then I would start to feel empty like I am nothing that I don't deserve anything , I just hope I  can hold on for a little longer but I've just been enduring the pain, the emptiness and the loneliness for so long now that I just want to let go. I can't take it anymore, I  can't do this but I don't seem to give up on holding it in a lil longer cause I know that once I decide to let it go there's no going back. That there is no one going to be there, that I have to be alone either ways. Its getting really hard for me to handle, the only way I let anything go is by letting myself feel the pain, makes me feel human enough to convince myself to not stop breathing. I cry all night when there's no one it's so quiet that if u were by me you could hear all the thoughts on my mind. I wish it could be peaceful for once and not be hurting. None of this might make sense but I had to put these thoughts down here cause seems like there's no space for them new thoughts....