Letters to Lauren (Camren/Fifth Harmony)

Letter #6 - "It's All My Fault"

        After finally recollecting myself from the last letter that I read, I used the rest of my strength to open the next envelope. The date on this envelope was 'February 18th, 2026' which was a few days after Valentine's Day. I took another sip of water and put the envelope down. As I started to read, I didn't even know if I was mentally prepared for reading another:

Dear Lauren,

        How have you been this week? I've been okay. I'm no longer upset that I'm getting married, because I'm beginning to believe that I might actually have something real with Andy. I'm sorry to say that, Lauren, but it's true. He tells me that he's willing to help me with getting better, and he wants to go about things in a better way. He's still up for the marriage thing because of my mother, but we're both okay with the fact that it was him and not some scumbag. I've told Andy everything about you, because I feel like it'd help some. It did, honestly. Talking about your problems actually helps, if you're talking to someone you actually want to talk to. Its good because I feel better when I'm not being forced to talk about these things for once. Have you told your husband everything? I assume you have if you've really fallen in love.

        You assume incorrectly my love, I thought to myself. I was thrilled that she found the best way for her to vent, but at the same time I was upset that she was actually going through with getting married.

        There's one thing I've been thinking about a lot lately. Fifth Harmony's break-up. It's all my fault, you know? It was extremely rude of me to keep asking for more solos in each song that we had to record. If it wasn't for me, then everyone would have an equal amount of recording time. It's because of me that Epic Records gave me the title of the lead singer, and made everyone else a back-up singer. It's very terrible. I was way too up tight and greedy. The amount of solos that I originally had was enough, but I just let the fame get to my head. 

        Then again, the issue could have easily been resolved if we all talked about it together. Instead of doing that, Dinah was the one who started the yelling and fighting. From there, we all fought to our breaking points, and ended up calling it quits altogether. I really wish we hadn't. I wish we had just worked it out as a team. As sisters. Now, we're all apart, and there's probably no going back. It's no one person's fault, I guess. We all had a part in the fight. I was just a selfish and greedy jerk. I'm really sorry for that. 

        You were probably the one, if anyone, to try to stop all of the fighting. Honestly, I expected Ally to be the one to stop it all, but she didn't. She just continued. She kept bringing up points about how the solos used to be distributed, and how she felt that she had a perfect amount before. Normani had agreed with Ally, and they started attacking the rest of us. Dinah felt like she never received a sufficient amount of solos, and she went on to say that she had the best voice in the group, and deserved more attention than she was getting. It was after she argued that, that I told her that maybe she should just go solo. That's when she agreed and walked out of the studio. If I hadn't said that, we'd probably be okay now, or at least postponed the break-up a little longer. I regret my words so much, Lauren. It just hurts me even more that I can't take them back. Nothing can be done. Nothing.

        Why was I such an idiot, Lauren? Why did I have to be so greedy? And why did the record company even consider it just being me with four back-up singers? It wasn't fair to you guys, and I think about it every night. I can honestly see why you guys left the group, I wouldn't have wanted to deal with me any longer either. I was just an all around shitty person that was molded by fame and fortune. If I could just go back to that day, I would never have asked for more solos and I would tell the company that I wanted us all to have equal recording time again. I even would have asked for you and Dinah to get more time, since you two seemed to never actually get enough. Normani and Ally always got a great amount, whereas I always got way too much. All those solos really pumped into my air-filled head. 

        I remember how upset Uncle Simon was that we decided to end our careers that day. He had put so much work into making us who we were, and it was just so sad to see his hard work go walking out the door. I remember him practically begging us at our feet to stay with the company, and how we all just shook our head, apologized again, and left him there. He was still pretty messed up over one of his other successful bands, One Direction ending as well, so that must have been really hard on him. I never even thought about that before. After the two of us ended, he probably only had one good group with him, and that was Little Mix. Poor Simon. I just feel so crappy now for adding even more stress on him. It's in my best interest to maybe give him all call, just to see how he's doing. I haven't talked to him in years, so maybe it's a good idea.

        What about you? Have you ever thought to call up Simon just to see how he's doing? I wonder if the other girls have tried to call him at all? Have you ever chased after a solo career after the break-up? I didn't. If any of us went for it, I'd think it'd be Dinah. Her voice is amazing enough to win endless awards. Any of us could, I think. Do you think if we all started talking again that we'd be able to be Fifth Harmony again? Would Uncle Simon still want us? I feel like he would, but I'm not too sure. Who am I kidding? The others will never try to contact us. Maybe you, but not me.

        I'm actually going to call Uncle Simon just to say hello. I think you should too, if you're up to it. I'll write to you soon to let you know how the call goes. I love you, Lauren!

                                                                              Lots of love, 

                                                                              Camila

        For the first time after reading one of Camila's letters, I didn't have a breakdown. Yes, it hurt to remember the break-up that took place that day, but I guess it wasn't too bad. Camila had placed all the blame on herself, which wasn't entirely a good thing. Yes, what she had said was true, but we all had a part in it. It wasn't all her fault. 

        I never thought about it before, but maybe I should give Simon a call too? It wasn't too late in California right now, so I decided to give it a shot. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, and selected his contact to call him. The phone rang six times, and there was no answer. I decided to leave him a quick message.

        "Hi, Uncle Simon. It's Lauren Jauregui. I was from Fifth Harmony if you remember me. I just wanted to say hello and ask how you were doing. If you could possibly give me a call sometime, I would love to tell you about how my life was going since my times in the music business. I assume you're probably already in bed right now, so I'll just leave this message. I'll talk to you sometime soon, I hope. I miss you! Bye!" I said.

        I put my phone down after leaving the message, and put the letter down as well. It was a good idea for me to take another break before leaving another letter, since I didn't know what news and updates it would bring to me next.