Unstable

Chapter 1

The corridor was filled with eager students, still giddy over reuniting with their friends after summer break. Under the light pooling in from the large glass window, stood a muscular boy with a red headed girl. He was desperately trying to keep her attention, purposely wearing a shirt that was tight around his biceps. His posse stood a ways away, watching him shoot another shot. The boy pretended that his shoulder was itchy, lifting up his sleeve to show off even more of his muscles. It was constant at Hogwarts, Regulus finding James trying to woo Lily. It always got on his nerves—the way James tried to put his body on display and use every technique he had just to get some attention from her.

Regulus had witnessed the same sight earlier in the courtyard, yesterday at the Great Hall, and all of last year. Everywhere he went, he was haunted by his brother's brutish friend. The arrogance he radiated filled the corridor, along with his strong cologne. No one else ever seemed to mind this, though, and it was only Regulus who got distracted whenever the flirtatious duo was around. The cologne didn't seem to bother the other boys, who scurried past excitedly. The muscles definitely never bothered the girls, who stared or took glances and giggled. Not even his housemates ever seemed to get tripped up.

Lily seemed to decide that the conversation was done, giving James a light peck on the cheek and walking off. James spun towards his friends, grinning like an idiot and looking pleased with himself. Regulus' brother went over to congratulate him, patting his shoulder and celebrating with him. Their squeals and laughs were obnoxiously loud.

Their group floated over to him, especially James who seemed to be walking on a cloud. "Did you see that, Reggie? I've got game. Up top." James yelled, holding out his hand for a high-five. Regulus couldn't understand why James felt the need to include him and talk to him. Staring at James' hand, he didn't move from his seat and kept his hands firmly on his book.

"Snubbed." Sirius said, laughing at his best friend being ignored. Neither seemed too bothered, probably because they only bothered Regulus for fun and never expected anything from it. At least, that's what Regulus assumed.

He noted that James' cheek was still pink where she kissed him, blush still covering his skin. "I think Reg is jealous." Sirius joked, elbowing James.

"Don't worry, Reg, you'll get your first kiss soon. Just not from the amazing, beautiful Lily because she's mine."

"Trust me, I'm not interested." Regulus muttered, not being even slightly intrigued by that little ginger.

James must've taken it as he wasn't interested in kissing. "Give it a year or so." He said, smirking towards Sirius. To be quite honest, Regulus wasn't interested in kissing or girls, for that matter. He never dreamed or thought about it, unlike other boys his age. The only person in his dreams was usually James, and those were just nightmares about pranks or him being bothered. Sirius sometimes costarred, helping James pull some mean prank or corner him in his dreams. There wasn't any explainable reason for this, it's not like he was bullied by James.

Regulus just grunted in response, watching the four Marauders exchange looks. They were judging him. It wasn't something they'd understand because he had watched them tail girls for years, always flirting or staring. It just wasn't something he did. The only staring he did was at them, or James when he was making another pathetic pass at Lily. That was more out of annoyance than anything.

Once they had lost interest, the four took off down the corridor in a loud huddle and their yells could still be heard when they were out of view.

***

A large, Great Horned Owl descended upon the Great Hall, making its way to the Slytherin table and dropping a letter in front of Regulus. The letter was in an ornate envelope, and the neat handwriting gave away that it was from his mother. The other students who received packages were eagerly tearing them open, but Regulus just stuffed it in his bag and tried to forget about it entirely. He already knew what it was about. It was just reminding him that he was committing to becoming a Death Eater soon, and making sure he wouldn't try to weasel his way out. This task from his parents was the first one he'd ever stalled on.

Looking up, he saw that James had received a package of baked goods from his parents. He was happily sharing them with his friends, and trying to use it as an excuse to talk to Lily. The happiness that he exuded made Regulus feel too sick to eat. Sirius was able to just sit there and be happy along with him, but Regulus was bound to a life of sorrow and there was no point in pretending to be happy.

"I saw you staring at breakfast," A voice interrupts his focus, making him look up and be met with beaming hazel eyes. "You could have just asked for one." He said, placing down a home baked muffin and biscuit. God, he was painfully oblivious.

Looking back down at his work, he said, "I'm not hungry."

"Keep it for later, then. Problem solved." He chirped, ruffling Regulus' black curls and walking out of the library.

On the way out of the library, he threw the desserts in the garbage and reveled in the pettiness of it. He would need ten showers to get the stench of James' cologne off of him, even though he was beginning to wonder if the smell was just in his head. Maybe the smell was only so pungent to him because of his immense disdain. The smell was like a fly buzzing around his head, becoming increasingly bothersome.

***

A card exploded, making a mark on the wooden table. Sirius had pulled a castle. They laughed at the singed wood. In the light of the fire burning in the fireplace, all in the world felt right. He was still reeling from the peck he'd received the day before, continuously touching his cheek throughout the day. The world felt perfect. They didn't even scheme that day because James was too distracted in his own giddiness.

After another card "snapped", Sirius threw in the towel and forfeited. Remus was nearby, playing wizarding chess with Peter, and started to laugh at his boyfriend pouting. "You suck." Sirius complained and threw a card, which snapped in some first-year's face. Then, he went silent and looked like he was contemplating something. "Did you see the letter that Regulus got?"

"No. Why would I notice that?" Remus asked.

"I did," James interjected, "Seemed fancy. Bet the envelope alone was worth a few galleons."

"He's falling farther in. He won't listen to me."

"It's not from Him, if that's what you mean. Regulus is fifteen! Use your brain, Sirius." Remus scolded, making a move in the game that caused Peter to whine.

Sirius shook his head. "He's scaring me."

"He's the same old Reg. Your parents probably just got crafty." James joked, and Peter groaned again at whatever move Remus' made. "Plus, do you really think he's that dumb?" When there was no response from anyone in the room, he said, "Merlin, you really think he's evil, or something?"

"Not evil!" Sirius immediately corrected, "Just, you know—"

"Complacent." Remus finished the sentence, giving an understanding look.

"I don't wanna play this game, anymore. I don't understand how you're winning." Peter whined, but no one seemed to listen.

The atmosphere felt darker, even the fire didn't seem to be blazing like it was. Sirius held his head down, staring at one of the card left in front of him, and Remus seemed to stare into the fire. "He'll be fine, Sirius. We'll make sure he's fine, right guys?" He looked towards Remus and Peter, causing the two blondes to nod haphazardly.

Drawing the curtains, he crawled into his bed, all red and gold colors surrounded him. They were soothing, to him at least. As he tried to fall asleep, tossing and turning, his minds wandered to their conversation from earlier. The selfish part of him wanted to just relax and think about Lily until he slept, but Sirius' dark expression was plaguing his mind. He seems fine. He thought, considering the boy was just being his old, snarky self. Reading and staring was just Regulus acting normal, and he hadn't noticed anything else. Even the letter wasn't concerning because, Merlin knew, the Blacks were always spoiling their "perfect" son. There was a darkness in Regulus, James could see that, but he had always been like that.

Stop thinking about this! He scolded himself, trying to convince his mind to focus on anything else. Even class would be a better topic than that. Of course, contrary to what he was trying to do, his brain just kept replaying their past two conversations in his head over, and over again, until it managed to lull him to sleep.