The Inazuma Scrapbook

With You In Spirit

He thinks of Endou-san — his encouraging words and charismatic grin — and suddenly, Yuuki doesn't feel alone anymore.

Or Endou's charisma can transcend a laptop screen, and that's exactly what Yuuki needs.

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Despite what his name might suggest, Yuuki isn't brave. It's not that he doesn't try to be; courage just doesn't seem to come to him naturally.

That's why he flinches when his mother asks over dinner, "How's school?"

His grip on his spoon tightens as the silver utensil hovers in the air, shaking slightly along with his hand. Yuuki glances at his mother, who gives him a tentative smile. Despite that, her eyes don't look interested; they never do. That's… Yuuki isn't sure how that feels, but his chest feels a little hollow.

Why do you even care? is what he wants to say, but Yuuki isn't ungrateful or brave enough for that. So instead, he says, "Well, I'm getting better at being a keeper, and—"

His mother pauses. "Keeper? I thought you were a…" Her eyebrows scrunch as she tries to remember his original position.

Yuuki frowns a little, though he knows logically that his parents are busy people and that they can't keep track of everything he does. That's what his mind says, but a more selfish part of him reminds him that he has been in the soccer club for almost half a year now, and that he switched to being a keeper three months ago. Surely, that's enough time for them to notice, right?

But his parents are busy. They only just returned after five months. He just hasn't had the chance to tell them yet.

"A midfielder," Yuuki says when it becomes clear that his mother has given up on trying to remember. "I switched becau—"

"That's nice," his mother says absently, and Yuuki tries not to grimace because at least she's trying to be interested, right? She takes a bite and swallows before asking, "How are your studies?"

"Oh, um," Yuuki tries to remember something positive about that. It's not that he's a bad student or anything — at least, he knows he's not the worst in his class. It's just that he doesn't remember much from the past week other than all the ways one can't master God Hand.

Yuuki halts in the middle of his sentence when his father stands up. The man barely spares him a glance as he walks away, only stopping when his mother asks him to.

"I have other things to do," his father says as his eyes — the same blue eyes that Yuuki innerited, though he doesn't like to think that his eyes are that cold — travel towards Yuuki for a fleeting moment, enough for Yuuki to understand the hidden meaning behind them.

I have better things to do.

He doesn't feel like talking anymore, so Yuuki gets up as well and excuses himself under the guise of homework, though all he does upon reaching his room is curl up in his bed and try to ignore the voice in his head.

They don't care about you, the monstrous voice says. It sounds a bit like that third year from school, who had once bullied — at least his (angry upon finding out) teammates had called it that — him.

"They care," Yuuki whispers like he does every night, as though it would actually stop the voice. "They're just busy, that's all."

He doesn't know if he's trying to console himself or delude himself. But really, neither of them is a good thing, is it? Neither works anyway, and Yuuki is left staring at the ceiling.

He needs to move. He needs to do something to take his mind off of it, but what? Homework doesn't seem appealing; it never really does, but especially not when Yuuki gets like this. He could talk to his friends, right? But it's late and Yuuki would just be bothering them. It's not like they'd be hiding from their problems in their rooms too.

His teammates… Soccer!

Yuuki immediately grabs his laptop and plays one of Raimon's matches. Those always cheer him up. Whenever he watches Raimon play, he always forgets about all his problems. All he can think of is Endou-san's confidence. His encouraging smile. His optimism that never fails to pull through.

It's as though Endou-san is reaching out to him, through the screen. Yuuki can't help but mirror that grin, eye sparkling. He's so cool, Yuuki is always thinking. This is why Yuuki swore to be like him. Because Endou-san is him but better.

Because when he thinks of Endou-san, Yuuki doesn't feel alone anymore.

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March 16, 2021

Word count: 739 words.

This was meant to be a character study of sorts and I wasn't really going to post it, but then I figured why not. Strangely, Tachimukai is one of my top favorites but this is the first time I've actually written anything about him. How was it?